My last week in Cincinnati

I'm finally closing my last weekend in Cincinnati. I'm now enjoying a beautiful Sunday afternoon while drinking a Strawberry Lemonade and eating leftover pasta. Next Sunday I'll be up in the skies enduring the long flight home. Time indeed flies so fast.

I still remember the night before my flight to the US. I was packing almost 3 months' worth of clothes and authentic Filipino canned goods. I brought food in order to save my allowance, which essentially proved useless while I'm here. I remember my mom and my Ate Ne helping me pack. I remember hugging my boyfriend while he stayed up late configuring my computer. I remember saying goodbye to Harvey the night before and I remember my dad driving me to the airport in my very own car sharing words of advice. I knew it would be my longest time away from home yet both my father and I knew that I'll be perfectly fine.

Objectively assessing my stay here, it was a complete breeze. It might not be the best American state, but it's not a kiss of death for me. My personality matches the quiet city. If I need action, I discovered early where to get it. From stores to the neighborhood, I had no problems. Everything's been convenient and if the project requires me to stay for another month, I'm fine with it. I'm not exactly dying to go home and I never had separation anxiety, but it seems the closer I get to my flight back to Manila the more excited I become just because I feel life indeed goes on and I'm facing a new start.

When I get home, I know that I would be facing immeasurable office stress. I would have to run a team, run my project flawlessly and be under an intense microscope. I am not looking forward to late nights and a couple of disappointments along the way. I am hard on myself and I have to accept that there might be certain things beyond my control. I have to further explain to family, friends and loved ones that my career is my top priority right now. I cannot mess up and I cannot afford to devote a chunk of my energy to petty things, so I would ask them to bear with me and cooperate. Not many people would like it, but it's something that I have to prepare for. If I'm nervous, I'm also feeling the adrenalin. Probably this is the reason why a part of me doesn't look forward to coming home, but now I've fully accepted this inevitable shift. All I need to do is be excited and just work my ass to deliver.

But besides the looming work stress, I'm also looking forward to my usual Manila routine. No matter how I try to deny it, the closer I get to being home, the more I miss it. It overpowers the dread actually.

1. HOME > ROOM

I'm thankful that I'm housed in a nice apartment while I'm here in Ohio. I love the neighborhood, the convenient kitchen, the cozy bed and the furniture. But nothing beats my home in Manila. I miss our garage and the nook where I usually eat. I miss playing with my dog in the dirty kitchen and actually hanging out in our garden. I miss going to my brother's room and pissing him off. Gosh, I do miss my simple room no matter how small and simple it is. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed and watching in my newly installed tv.



2. FORT > MAKATI

I'm a city slicker and I love Fort and Makati. My favorite restaurants are there. I miss my Chinese restaurants, which are way better than what they have in Ohio. I miss different cuisines and the comforting, lively and extensive choices of establishments. Fort and Makati may not be New York, but it's livelier and more vibrant than downtown Cincinnati. I've mastered the city's life and I miss hanging out there.



3. CAR

For almost 3 months, I have not driven. I always ride the bus or walk. I didn't think that I'd miss driving, but it goes with the fact that I've only driven my new car for 25 days. I got it on June 1, but I flew to the States on June 26. Our bonding was halted and I can't wait to face the usual traffic and bond with my car.



4. ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES

I am really excited on a revised life I'm going to lead when I get back. Right now I'm thinking of leading a very active lifestyle. It's a must because I need to lose this massive weight I've gained, but I would also need an outlet. On my first day in Manila I will renew my gym membership. I'm also going to start playing tennis seriously and I'm going to get a new hobby. I'm actually searching for one online so that I know my options as soon as I land. My sister is currently doing the inquiries for me and I'm narrowing down to a couple of choices. Since I have a pet, a car and a sport, I might as well just enroll in Pottery, which is long overdue, make home videos, conquer violin or learn a new language. Let's see what happens.





5. FOOD

But of course, I miss the food in Manila. I miss rice and homecooked meals. I miss Chinese Food from Luk Yuen, Gloria Maris and Le Ching. Clearly Ohio lacks a row of restaurants. Greenbelt's strip beats Newport on the Levee in Kentucky and even in downtown Cincinnati in heartbeat. I'm sorry, but I have to be honest. Restaurants in Manila compared in Ohio are incredible. I was online with my mom and sister earlier and I told them to buy me Chinese dishes from Luk Yuen for Sunday and I contracted my boyfriend to have lunch and dinner with me on two of my favorite restaurants the following day. Manila food choices are better and wonderful.



I've been away for only 2 1/2 months, but I now realize that I miss home. I just cannot imagine how OFWs feel like in their situation where they have to be away from their loved ones for years. They didn't have a choice. Most of them are forced to work in a foreign land and be away from their comfort unlike me who is pretty much open to traveling and willing to be away from home. I used to think that OFWs crying and clapping on the plane while it lands in the Philippine soil was a little over dramatic, but I'm completely mistaken. I can understand a bit now and I know some of my colleagues who long for home might do the same.

I have five more days to say goodbye to Cincinnati. It's been my home for almost three years and despite the heat, this city treated me well. This has been like a pleasant dream and by next week, I'll back in the real world with all the beauty and ugliness of it. Stress. Manila Traffic. Manila Food. Friends. Family. Harvey. Possibilites. It's not perfect, but I'm very thankful of home.

Going to be my last Exorcism after this

I was supposed to accept an invitation for an afternoon BBQ, but certain moods and circumstances made me decline. Instead, me and my colleague took a bus to downtown Cincinnati, ate at Chipotle for lunch and went to Newport on the Levee for possibly our last movie session for this trip. The choice was unanimous.

We've been seeing the trailer of The Last Exorcism for weeks. It was enough to make us relive the days we watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose (Which both of us are impressed of). The trailer was really interesting, a bit haunting and holds a lot of visual promises. We weren't really expecting a pristine plot, but what we wanted to get out of that movie was the genuine scare. So to the person who made the trailer, kudos. You totally fooled us.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

In fairness to the movie, it started raw and promising. It is done in documentary style. If you've seen Blair Witch the Movie, this is another version of it. A crew follows the life of Reverend Cotton in Baton Rouge Louisiana as he goes through his life as a devout preacher who is undergoing a midlife crisis of losing his faith in what he does, specifically exorcism. He shared his views about people thinking they need to be exorcised, when in fact he's proven through experience that most of them just had psychological problems. He is losing faith because of the backlash of exorcism by killing its subjects during the process. But in order to support his family and at the same time "help" psychologically challenged people by performing exorcism "successfully," he does it anyway. To prove his point he brought a media crew to one of the cases he took on about a girl Nell, who is apparently possessed. According to her father, she has been killing their livestock, be in constant catharsis and perform stuff only a possessed and psychologically incapacitated person would do. The Reverend does his show and comes out of the session successful only that Nell was really possessed. Together with his crew, he tried to unfold the problem and perform the real exorcism. Certain twists began to unfold until the end of the movie unfortunately spoiled everything. It turned out that the neighbors and the girl were part of a cult to worship a known demon and on the last scene the cult delivered the demon's offspring from Nell. It turned out the father was not supportive of it. Reverend Cotton, watching the ceremony began to believe, and went courageous by facing the devil in flames while his crew was killed by the cult members while they tried to escape through the woods. Then the screen goes black. Obviously all of them got killed.

Fine. The plot was very far from being foolproof and the ending with the 3G flames with the devilish offspring was hilarious, but at least there should be a scary torch somewhere. It is a horror movie, documentary, video...whatever...after all. They attempted to be scary, but they always fall short. The possession wasn't even impressive. It's a full flat failure in the face. Blair Witch was better. Exorcism of Emily Rose is way better. The best part about the movie is the setting. The house is old, dirty, isolated and scary to live in. Other than that, it was a waste of time and money.



I do not recommend watching it in the movie theaters. I also do not recommend watching it in DVD unless you're curious enough to know what I'm talking about and end up being disappointed. Take this post as a warning.

The expected backlash

Another Filipino worker, Julie, said her 60-year-old employer, for whom she has worked for 14 years, did not speak to her after the hostage crisis.

“She watched news on TV about the hijacking. She did not talk to me and did not give me dinner on Wednesday,” she said. *(PDI)

Reading about this breaks my heart, but I knew at some point this would happen. I just hope his is an isolated case.

It seems no matter how we try to emphasize how sorry we are for the hostage crisis and how embarrassed and shocked we are on how our own police force dealt with it, it would never be enough. It would take time for the Chinese community to forgive and understand where we're coming from. Though we don't force them to totally heal in the near future, I do hope they do not retaliate by harming the well being of the Filipino people in their territories. Hurting people won't help anything, they should know.

May the Philippine government take necessary steps to ensure the lives and well being of their citizens are secure. May they be proactive, visible and sincere.

I don't know how the Department of Tourism could remedy this, but they'd better be creative and execute fast.

I don't know how the Philippine Police Force could redeem themselves, but they'd better try harder and seek consultants and experts, please.

Overdue Reactions

I. HOSTAGE TAKING

Last week, I learned about the hostage taking of HK tourists in Manila. I was on my way to work and a colleague and I were talking about it. I heard about it, but I thought hostage dramas are very much common so I didn't bother to know the details. My colleague, who knew more about it, told me that it had been going on for more than 8 hours. Well I know that isn't good. And when I arrived at work, some of the associates in Cincinnati were asking me about it. I didn't want them to panic and go overboard and since I don't know the exact details, I just told them, "It happens in every country."

I went home, did my research and found funny to enraged reactions from friends in Facebook. Hostage crisis happens anytime and in any country, but I never thought how embarrassing the situation was for us until I saw some clips and read some intelligent reports.

Background: Ex-cop hijacks a tourist bus full of HK tourists. He kept them captive, occasionally scaring them off, just because he wants his job in the police force back. He was charged with a crime he did not do. While taking the bus hostage, he just had his rifle, no bombs and no other technological device. He didn't have an assistant but he has access to television. It took some time to negotiate while the police didn't know how to attack and end the drama. People got confused, tired and when the criminal watched on TV that his brother was taken into custody by the police, he got mad and went crazy. He fired his warning shots. The Philippine Police Force moved too slow with less equipment until some people in the bus got killed defending themselves. Until a sniper-shooter ended the criminal's life in more than 10 hours of siege.

Naturally, I felt anger and hatred for the criminal. What was he doing? Losing his job did not warrant him to hostage bus of innocent tourists. If he had problems with his life and career, he should take it to court. Media always loves good stories, he should've taken it there. Now he died without achieving anything and we had to clean up his mess.

But I don't blame HK nationals for being angry. The hostage-taker really did it this time, which was to piss off the Chinese community. I know we have to be accountable for that, but Chinese people should also understand that Filipinos did not want this to happen. He is an isolated, irrational case. However, I feel more anger towards our very own SWAT, which stands for so many ridiculous meanings right now. Yes, it's true that kidnappings, murders and hostage taking happen in every country. Somewhere in one's territory, there will always be some uncontrollable freaks who would love to keep people's lives in danger. But I think it would've made a big difference if our own Police Force, who is supposed to answer to these kinds of threats, should know what to do and do their job well.

I know the criminal has is own deluded reason to do it. He is immoral and unjust. But surely he can be contained efficiently, which was something that did not happen and that is what we should be accountable for.

I hope the government views this as a lesson. I hope this straightens and strengthens the police force. If we cannot rely on them, who else would we turn to? If it happens in every country in any time, we should all be prepared for it.

As a Filipino I'm embarrassed. I'm sorry and I lament.


2. MS. UNIVERSE

I was in one of my colleagues apartment while we watched Ms. Universe. It's been at least a decade since I watch these kinds of shows. I think the last major pageant I watched was when Charlene Gonzales was included in the finalist. High tide or Low Tide. So technically I didn't know who Venus Raj was.

Surprisingly, while watching the show and the first time Ms. Philippines was called as one of the top 15 finalists, I was jumping up and down like I've been into this forever. Probably it's because of the immense pride that I am from the Philippines and this is a major global competition after all. For a small but beautiful 3rd world country to beat out most of the bets of the powerful countries in the world is such an ego-boosting experience.

Ms. Venus Raj throughout the pageant had a chance. Her scores were relatively high. We knew she could take the crown until of course the infamous, mind-boggling question of Mr. William Baldwin. "What is your biggest in mistake in your life and how were you able to solve it."

Damn. It's a question with gray areas. It's not a question that could be answered by a yes or no. It's not a preferential question. It's a relative and personal one. And a quick flashback happens before your eyes in a sea of famous people while being watched on national tv, doesn't help you pick out the perfect answer. If ever there was a mistake, would I be confident enough to share it? Why would I tell that in the first place?

In my perspective, she could've turned the question around. "In my 22 years of existence, I have encountered different types of hardships in my life. But to be honest, there is no single biggest mistake I made that I could think of because I only see mistakes as blessings to learn from and a means to pave the way to become a better person."

Something flowery to that extent. But that is just me answering in pajamas, eating chips in someone else's apartment.

The pressure must have been nerve-wracking and I don't blame her for stuttering and plugging her happiness instead of actually answering the question. Let's admit it, it is a difficult question. In fact, it's harder than taking a stance on death penalty.

I'm still happy she got included in the finalists. Sayang, but what could we do? Let's just be happy with her achieved success. And maybe in the future, if she will be asked of what is her most profound mistake in life, she could refer to what happened in Ms. Universe or my answer as options. :)

Dreadful Packing looming x2

In less than 10 days, I fly back to the other part of the world, back to my home country in Asia. Coming from the US, that just easily means a long hour flight and a painful packing routine.

Yes, the flight is a pain, but the packing is worse. Looking at my messed up closet, shoe boxes and shopping bags, I know there is no way I would fit everything that I brought and I bought in my two luggage. I know I'd pay 50 dollars for excess, which I've accepted and for which I am very open to. But I also have a problem with space. I've totally maximized the weight and space capacity of my bags. Bummer.

Before I left Manila I bought two luggage that could easily fit three months' worth of clothes and some. I knew I wouldn't be needing the biggest size. I won't shop crazy anyways or so I thought. But now, I ate all my words and I got so full of it. There's no way other way but to pay for excess and buy a new luggage, the biggest one and hopefully light weight. I never knew it would come to this.




Thinking about it, I have a couple of days to prepare. Mentally, I've got the grouping of stuff figured out and I've done the pre-packing routine of sealing bottles of Bath and Body and covering delicate designer bags and shoes. But then again I dread the final product.

Some colleagues asked me to return some stuff just to solve my dilemma. But I've been a sensible shopper ever since and when I look at my purchases, I feel justified. So, let this be a good reason for me to pay excess and buy that new luggage. I've decided.

I shop 'em, I pack 'em. Simple.

Can't win. But I'm happy to be able to bring these home.

Getting a new phone...finally

I'm not technologically advanced. Gadgets don't really interest me. I just use something as long as it fits my basic needs and that I'm comfortable with it. I hardly care about the superficial and intricate qualities. Tech-talk about phones, cameras and computers are alien to me. I can't even survive 10 minutes in the cell phone exchange in Greenhills.

There are moments that I feel that I'm left behind. I ask questions and try not to look so stupid. But I still don't give a crap about new models and enhancements. Basically I stick to whatever I have until it breaks down. My cellular phone for instance is ancient by today's standards. I've had it with me five years ago and it's the grandfather of all E-Series of Nokia. It's a qwerty phone, has an internet connection, but with no camera. I only have the basic applications installed yet I survived and didn't look for anything else. I've thrown it, crashed it accidentally, but it's still with me. My boyfriend, who is a tech-boy, squirms at the sight of my phone and urges me to allot a meager budget to get a new one. My 13 year old brother and father have more updated units and my sister can simply floor me. I still didn't care.

Now, I'm beginning to. Before traveling to the States I needed a Quadband phone I could bring. My boyfriend lent me his slightly used E-Series phone and I feel odd borrowing something that I think I should have. It took me a trip to the United States to realize that it's time to trade in my old phone and get a new one. It was not an impulsive decision. I gave it a lot of thought and the decision to buy a new unit is strong.

For one, I need to be more tech-savvy. I don't need to be a tech freak, but I should be savvy enough to know the basic upgrades of applications. I might not know that there could be some features present to make my professional and personal connectivity more convenient. Second, my old phone looks like shit. Aesthetically, it's not pleasing to look at anymore. It's so covered with scratch and its weight is a burden. Third, I can hardly bring it overseas, which at this point is important since I love to travel in a connected fashion.

My parents constantly wonder what I'm doing with my earnings if I can't buy a suitable and more updated phone. My friends would just sigh and laugh. Even fresh graduates get more upgrades. My boyfriend would try to narrate reasons why I should face the inevitable and at the same time brainwash me of the latest models out there. For years I've been ignoring their pleas and comments, but it's different now. I think the perfect time has come to finally trade in. Funny, the last time I felt like this was moments before I decided to buy my very own car.

Buying a new phone after five years is a big leap for me. Technology wise, I have a lot to learn with the new units out there. I'm not scared though. In fact I'm excited. I have a couple of phone models in mind and my boyfriend is helping me find out my perfect unit. Since he knows how to interpret the specs, I give him the full responsibility to narrow down the phones that would suit my needs. Before I was not entertaining the thought of owning a touch-screen phone. Keypads were very important to me, but now I'm more open to eliminating it completely and switch to touch screen. I've realized that it might be something that I just have to get used to. What I also want is to have a flexible and functional phone that I could use in five years time. I want to learn and do things more conveniently. I want a phone that does not hold back. Other salient things like the looks, brand and special features matter, but not so much as long as I am sold with major conditions such as functionality and comfort. And I'm happy to say that since I'm purchasing something serious and life changing for me, price for this matter is not an option.

I want to get a new phone. It's a ripe decision and it's something that I've totally prepared for. I just need to know which.

I have a couple of units in mind.





So it's either HTC, Samsung or Sony. The particular models are not exactly pinned down due to availability issues and the current study being done by my tech-consultant. But what I want is the first moment I land in Manila, I would be able to purchase a new phone for a brand new start. I'm so serious of getting about this that I'm starting to itch already. It's a plan that I'm looking forward to materialize.

To be specific, I'm clinging more to buying Android OS phones. I can't justify that as much as I'd want, but it is highly recommended by my tech advisers and it's one of the most flexible, updated and kickass OS out there. I trust them and I've done basic research. It's not for the faint of heart. Android phones are considered smart phones in a way that it has tons of different features and enhancement of applications to suit a busy, organized and fast paced user. I'm sure it won't be user friendly at first, but that could be seen as the interesting part. It means I have new things to learn and there is a goal. Once I've unmasked its full capabilities, then I believe it would improve my connectivity and productivity as a professional. Besides, I love Google. Anything that is developed by Google, I'm optimistic about. All I know is that I'm getting and Android phone soon. To know which one, that is the remaining question.

Pasalubongs to Unload

In our almost 3 months of overseas training, my colleagues bought different gadgets for themselves and for their families back home. Fortunately, I'm not a gadget-y person. I have everything that I could possibly need. Yes, I would eventually undergo an upgrade, but right now I'm fine. Also, my boyfriend and my siblings have more upgraded gadgets than I'll ever have and they know perfectly well that to ask me to buy something techie for them would be hopeless. So they never forced it. My brother tried in my first three weeks here, but after a couple of tries, my father just took care of it.

So technically I didn't buy any gadget in this trip. No cameras, no laptops, no ipods or hard drives since I still like what I currently have right now. I had wanted to buy a PS3 since my sister squealed that my dad had put a tv in my room, but friends and experts I know decided against it since my brother already has the goods. My boyfriend just wanted me to build an HD Theater system instead, whatever that is.

So I just used my money for my entertainment and bended down to the wishes of my loved ones.

My fashion-conscious sister asked me to buy her make-up. I was shocked, but I applauded her for risking and entrusting the request to me. She knows I don't have any knowledge about make-up. I get dizzy just by looking at them and most importantly, I am allergic to it. I don't know what they're called, I don't know what they're for and most certainly I don't know why they cost so much.

So when my sister gave me a list, I asked the help of my colleagues and bought her everything that she specifically listed down to the number, detail and price. I bought two of everything she listed including the shades, which make-up enthusiasts agree, was not necessary. Screw it. I don't have time to return these.


There must be at least 200 dollars worth of stuff there. It pains me to think that these small powdery things cost so much. But for my sister and mother's amusement, here they go.


Also, my brother and I are also planning to start playing tennis. I've played tennis when I was a kid and I was an enthusiast. I watched French Open on cable and fantasized on playing with the greats. I even had a necklace made out to Gustavo Kuerten in college. I stopped simply because of work and other interests. But now I'm going back for real. I'm going back as soon I land in Manila. So I bought updated racquets here so there would be no backing out.



Other stuff I will just mention like shoes, watches, bags, clothes and damn-heavy-Bath and Body products. I've tried to stuff everything in my two luggage and I know I would have to allot another 50 dollars for excess. I can't wait to go home and unload these stuff. Some people should better be happy.