Art of Blind Dating

I initiated and participated in a blind date last Saturday. I did not do this on my own though, I had equal help from my boyfriend who made the date possible by bringing his share of the bargain. He brought his photographer friend and business partner and I brought my close college friend. At first, after getting approval from the 'girl' the previous night, we realized that it's best if we start it off as a group date, rather than 'setting them' up alone. I was merciful.

So after a few text, confirmations and discussions, the date was set to take its course on Saturday night. On the said night, Mitch and I arrived earlier at this arranged quaint Italian place in Fort Strip, Taguig. Tracy picked Caffe Puccinni, and we gladly obliged. The blind dates have arrived, exchanged pleasantries and introductions. I looked at my watch to mark when the awkwardness would start, and the game started at 9:15.

Musing, I know I particularly feel uneasy and uncomfortable in social situations. Most especially in awkward social situations that involved risks and a lot of social art to make it work, which is blind dating. Plus the fact that I was hungry that night when I misunderstood that it was supposed to be an after-dinner thing rather than a dinner-thing.

For the first few minutes the table's plagued with silence. The dates were assessing each other by throwing basic conversations as you would do in any normal interview set in a relaxed casual scenario. Bad part is the 'girl' is a recruitment specialist, so she knows how to do the whole "probing and anchoring" thing. (that's c/o accenture, I know a thing or two about probing)

But after ordering a bottle of red wine, and engaging in a few laughs, we started to act as if we're old college friends. It must be the wine or just a waft of positive personality exchanges. The night suddenly began to be colorful. The blind dates weren't 'shy' anymore. They initiated conversations and made Mitch and I mere supporters. The first red bottle of wine was followed with another red bottle of wine and we didn't realize we were exchanging already gay jokes and boy bastos jokes at 2 am. Finally, the waitress asked for our final order, and we got the cue from there.

The 'boy' offered to take the 'girl' home and the 'girl' approved. After saying goodbye at 3 am, I looked at Mitch and told him "Good job" and he replied "You too." We both rated that the date was a success.

But in this art of blind dating, moves are much more calculated and crucial compared to those who already know each other and decided to date. In blind dates, since your knowledge about how the person looks or what he's like is practically zero, the first date would often than not veer towards the physical assessment first and some personality assessment. If physically they are attracted, then spending the night would be more encouraging. After that the initial exposure to each others' personality it would usher a 'would-be' series of dates to ensue. But what if the girl liked the first date, liked to know more about the guy, and the guy doesn't call back. The girl then has her answer. Or what if the guy likes the girl, asks her out on a date, but the girl wouldn't approve and hook up a very weird excuse to be busy? Then the guy would know his stand. So the second date, would equally be more important in their 'budding' interaction. It's an investment and job interview rolled up in one complicated sleeve of relationship.

One also has to consider that blind dates are also not for everyone, especially like me because of the presence of a "motive." A person doesn't go out on a blind date to find FRIENDS right? Well, eventually making "friends" is a form of consolation, but blind dates have an initial ROMANTIC goal to the people involved. There's already a motive to begin with, and that encourages more room to be pretentious. I might be pessimistic about it, but I'm happy to know that some situations prove me wrong like the blind date I went with last Saturday. I'm relieved to know that they went out the following evening, alone.