Hilarious. Atrocious. Nonsensical.
Really, haven't you known me yet? I'm not the mother-material type. Newsflash, I don't exactly find kids cute. I take them for what they are, innocent delicate tykes, but I don't go "goo-gaga" over them. They're babies, white, bald, clueless and sheepish. I see them everywhere. There's a surplus of it in this country. I may release a genuine smile or two when i feel the kid's vulnerability and he looks damn hilariously scared out of his wits. That's why to those who keep on sending me chain emails suffocated with baby pictures to prove whatever message there is, then I suggest you to skip me from the email list. I also do believe that even though I am a woman, I do not have those motherly instincts. I protect and try my best to nurture on my own comfortable terms. I am not a baby fan, but damn right I'm a human being. Morality overwhelms everything. But still, I don't do hardcore nurturing stuff with kids. It'll leave me in a psycho-coma for weeks. But I do try to make up nurturing credits with some people, which means if treating my younger 11ish brother to expensive foodtrips, a trip to the bookstore, occasional malling and baby sitting (You stay out of my way, don't do stupid stuff, and I'll let you use the computer) could be considered motherly activities then I think I'm not hopeless after all..
That's why when I learned about the rumor of my pregnancy, I got a little bit icky. Now, I know someone from my past might have seen me somewhere and figured out I've gotten that FAT, which naturally gave birth to the rumor. For the record, these baggy-supposed-evidence was due to voluntarily being unemployed and vacationing for 7 months straight, after which Christmas and February season came. I admit now, the the rumor is the last straw. It's time to do a little bit of exercise.
But before that, I grabbed and finished two books last weekend that made me realize that I'm not that evil after all. The two books that I've recently read was about a boy named Dave Pelzer, and his ghastly life in the hands of his evil, monster-crazy Mother. The first book, the CHILD CALLED IT, recounts his story ages 4-8 yrs old living and enduring his mother's torture every single day. In the first book, it was graphically described, in the eyes of a young boy, how his mother tortured him. The book didn't lack of various examples. There were eating of dog poop, exposure to chemicals while cleaning the bathroom, deprivation of food for days, physical beating, emotional bantering, psychological warfare and living in most inhumane circumstances. You would think Harry Potter, living in the cupboard, living with his ghastly aunt uncle and bully cousin, is a hundred times better than David. You would be amazed how this wounded kid survived something that could only exist in anyone's imagination. He has suffered tremendously that there was a point in time that I, as a reader, just wished him dead to achieve his peace. But of course, most of the time I wished the mother was dead.
The Second book is also about David Pelzer's life after he was rescued by his teachers and social workers. At first you would feel his triumph as he survived and be given the chance to start his life at the age of 8, but it's anything but easy. He may not be within his mother's grasp and eating dog poop but this is where he rediscovers himself and bombards himself with questions at the height of his puberty. Now that's equally tormenting. Surviving emotional and psychological horrors of high school and puberty is bad enough, what more if one has a prejudiced history and a weak family background to boot. David Pelzer, coming from a traumatized situation and entering in the adolescent stages, was less equipped and grounded than normal kids. He was thoroughly confused in relationships, his existence and his purpose. Given his inexperience with interaction and basic logical skills, he made uncalculated risks and stupid mistakes in order to satiate what he's been missing his whole life. The second book recounts his story in the eyes of a 11-17 year old kid.
Dave Pelzer's story is an awakening. It slaps you in the face. It also makes you wonder how powerful a human spirit is to endure all the sufferings and come out of it in such a way that you're redeemed and honored. I must admit it's kind of depressing. You could feel the the blood around your heart boil as you imagine yourself tormenting his mother for doing nasty things to him. It makes you want to contribute and just pull out kids who suffer from their households. In reality, it's futile with all the bureaucracies and faulty systems. But David Pelzer really made a big difference by making people more aware of their actions toward kids and informing others that there's always a way out of that dark tunnel. His book is not for melodramatic consumption. It's for awareness and revelation of what a child goes through in danger's arms. It lengthens understanding and patience as one views sacrifices and hardship in the eyes of a kid.
I may not be the best, perky future mom there is. I don't even know if I'll ever be one. I still may not act naturally with kids as they are really seriously not my favorites. But most definitely I know my responsibility. I can be an advocate to their cause. I may not show it by gushing over and being in close proximity with them in the event I'd make it an entire awkward space, but protecting their rights, providing avenues for them to grow and constantly supporting them in resources and respectable attention are things that I know I could do well.
I'm not entirely hopeless, you know. I can be useful to kids, especially those who really need my help. I could even make Dave Pelzer proud for influencing me to understand kids further and find angles I could appreciate. I have a young brother and I swear I can relate with him more at some certain planes of discussion than any adult I know. Also, he knows that I may not be the ideal older sister. I am actually quite the pestering opposite. But he well knows I'll fight for any of his causes. Most people are lucky. I can say I'm one of those and I'm damn thankful because I know for a fact that I was once a kid too, and I could just as easily be in the shoes of David Pelzer.
3 comments:
hello..my name is Roxanne and i have read the book "a child called it" and just started with "the lost boy" after that im planning to read "a man called Dave." Reading these books touched my heart emotionally and physically... i think its a great inspiration and i completely recommend it. It made me cry and realize this place we call LIFE!
I have read the book once and i am reading it again because i just can't beleive that a mother can have the nerve to hurt her child so bad and never feel any guilt. this makes me realize that no matter how bad someone thinks they have it there's always someone who has it worse. this book is so interesting and a huge attention graber that it's hard not to read it twice.
Danielle.
i could relate to this some how. i just cant believe this happend. why would a mother do this to any child? why? i find it sick and discustiong what people could do to a child. i read all of the book and working on the last one. its amazing that you would publish your life to book. i was told that i should do the same but i dont much about my past. just the things i was toold and some what i remember. but dave your my best author. i read ur first book in 2006 and that teard my heart apart. we read it for a class. its also rewording that u survived through all the crap she put you through and did. again i dont want to right long cuz i wont but i need to end it. just keep up the books and ill read the rest you come out with.
Danielle.
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