End of the Ride

This blog was left "post-less" yesterday due to very understandable reasons. I was somehow stuck in a very crazy whirlwind ride that led me living in a very weird world in a very unassuming common day. In short, yesterday was more like a dream and a transition of sorts. Yesterday it was made final that my colleagues and I were to say goodbye to each other due to a project well ended. It was like a Professional Pinoy Big Brother season ending without the preparations and ceremonies. Some were still at the point of denial as they see their comfort zones slipping away. Some were ecstatic to start with a new project or accept better external opportunities. Some were just happy it's over and done with. Personally, the feeling was new to me as I've always had extreme control of major movements of my life. But now something bigger has made it for me and I've always felt uneasy feeling as if I'm a lightweight paper being drifted by a powerful wind. I might end up in the hands of a genius put to good use or I might just land on a crystal puddle slowly rotting and dissolving.

The feeling of actually saying goodbye and closing shop for me felt revitalizing just because I did what I came to do; and I knew in my heart that it was over. It's exhilarating to know that it's a mark of a new beginning. The only thing to be scared about is where to start over. It's not as if we're living in a challenge-free world. We have to work hard for those new beginnings and at this point in time working hard is an understatement that other forms of interventions may be welcomed. The feeling within me yesterday was so weird and so chaotic that I didn't know how to react. I treated it like just a normal day, but the weird part is that it was never going to be a normal day. Am I even at the point of denial? Not quite. But being happy in this situation, with people who might have seen this project as once the source of their comfort and happiness, would just be heartless. So I did what I do best, repress and just be passively positive about it.

I've always seen that working hard for new beginnings is a prerequisite for men to make a good start, but sometimes I believe luck and timing may intervene. God or an infiniet source of being made the wheels turning and doors upon doors will still open. That door somehow opened yesterday brunch when I got a very important call that could change my life remarkably. It could make way for a clear beginning, and I know that not everyone is offered this remarkable invitation. It was shiny as a yellow brick road to a grand opportunity from a path that has it's end known. I'm left in a sea of chaos but now enveloped in warmth with the sense of peace.

I shared the day and information to my loved ones and I reflected their happiness back. Yesterday was life, death and rebirth all wrapped in one crazy climax that some of us are just fortunate to experience in life. It would be crazy to deny that I wasn't scared, but it taught me a lot of things about myself and how I respond to how the world works. It wasn't easy, but I knew I had to get through it. There was no other way, like a rollercoaster reaching the tip, there is no way but to face the climax and release. That is why I left this blog "post-less" yesterday because my grasp of words was zapped and overwhelmed with the feeling. It's just today that I've seen things clearly, brought my loved ones to the journey and finally made peace with the world. It was then I knew the climax has ended and journey has reached its end. Now I'm only left looking forward to that new shiny beginning.