Horrors of Medical Examination

WARNING: This post is about things you wouldn't normally discuss while eating...or normally discuss at all . If you get the picture. Proceed and skip at your own accord. If not, well, one word...poop.


Undergoing a medical examination is not really a pain in the ass especially if you allot some time to it. It's just a general procedure that a person gets to do once in a blue moon, unless that person is job hopping. You do the normal registration, vital statistics measurement, eye exam, xray exam, blood sampling, and if your company requires you to strip down and expose your ass to the hapless doctor, then all of it could be done in a few hours time and hopefully in one clean sweep. I've always been trained to welcome needles ever since I was a kid, so it wasn't something horrendous for me. I am perfectly fine with getting my vital stats although I prefer that they immediately write it down than broadcast it to the nurse at the end of the hall, who happens to write down the records. No one needs to see you stuffed, with exact numbers stamped in your forehead. I'm even a-okay with the whole xray examination procedure, even if a "straight, fairly good looking guy" asks about your menstrual cycle and eventually requests to take your bra off. Heck, I'm totally fine to strip down for an intimate check up with a female doctor, although I can't say if the doctor was to be male. It never happened to me ever, and hopefully they've got good female to male ratio in these clinics. Otherwise, I would probably freak out as well.

So, everything else (for me) falls in the pleasant category except for two things. The Stool and Urine Sample. Stool and Urine, no matter how biological or natural it is, go straight to the toilet. I don't think about it and I don't intend to manage it in any way. It's quite uncomfortable and particularly annoying when you're trying to store your own, excuse the term, "poop" into some container. Of course before you can actually store it, you'd have to scoop, nip (whatever term you'd want) it first. After the deed is done, I'd usually feel pity. I'd immediately feel sorry for the container and stool apparatus no matter how lifeless they are. It's just plain disgusting, unnaturally done but very necessary, which makes it such a drag.

But stool is not as bad as urine. In stool, there's an ounce of preparation and the movement is often controlled, unless of course one is suffering from LBM, but getting a urine sample takes art and spatial calculation. The worst thing about it is, they have so many requirements in getting the urine. You'd have to wait a couple of seconds after the first flow and they'd ask you to fill the whole plastic bottle/cup. It's especially harder for women because the "passageway/source" of urine is less helpful than male species'. Expect the worst here; and by worst it means requiring you to bring lots of tissues, an alcogel or if you're diligent, some disposable gloves.

I have to give it up to those medical techs who have to face these specimens every single day. They search for meaningful findings in undesired human wastes. It requires special skills, knowledge, tough stomach and high tolerance for well...wastes of others. The visuals, smells and the dirt in it.

The Twin Trend

I remember having this conversation with Je while I was having dinner with her last Friday. We were talking about her plans after the wedding, and naturally that includes having kids. Then, I drank more wine.

Well, she said she planned to enjoy married life first before actually going for a kill...I mean, a kid. Life's ultimately harder these days because of inflation; and rearing a child requires more than just effort and sleepless nights. It ultimately requires more moolah (money) preparation, unless of course you're Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Being more attuned to the pregnancy topic, I blurted out an observation I've been nursing for the most recent times. Is there actually a Twin Trend? I drank more wine, again.

Having twins before was not so popular as now. I mean it happens, but it's a rarity than an expectation. Now it's a quite a different story. Like celebrities who start trends, most famous couples now have twins. J Lo has twins. Angelina recently had them. Robecca Romjin and Jerry O'Connell have twins. Julia Roberts had them. Al Pacino and Beverly D Angelo. Holly Hunter. Puff Daddy. Geena Davis got twins at the age of 47 (imagine!). Michael J. Fox. Marcia Gay Harden, and Desperate Housewives' Marcia Cross had them. They are just few of the celebrity couples who have twins; and the mushrooming effect keeps going on an on. Locally, we have Carmina Villaroel, Vicky Morales and Charlene Gonzales. All of these are definitely joyous occasions, I'm sure, but the Twin-mania makes you kind of cling to some scientific explanation or intervention.

According to Je, she mentioned this fertility pill that the woman takes to increase possibility of having twins. It's Clomiphene Citrate marketed as Clomid, Serophene, Milophene etc.

Clomifene acts by inhibiting the action of estrogen on the gonadotrope cells in the anterior pituitary gland. Since the estrogen receptors are prevented from recycling, the body perceives estrogen levels to be falsely lower than they actually are. As a result, the body releases more gonadotropin-releasing hormone from the hypothalamus, which drives the pituitary secretion of follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), leading to a higher rate of ovulation and hence pregnancy. (wikipedia)

It actually makes sense especially with couples who have busy schedules, most especially celebrities. Some marry and have kids late so they want to increase their efforts as early as possible. Some may have the difficulty conceiving again, so having twins would be an enticing option. Others see it as a practicality and convenience because as busy as these global celebrities, who have to exert more effort in trimming down weight after the baby and actually not filing for work, might as well take a leave for two kids rather than for one. In some extreme cases, they just want to build a basketball team as fast as they could because of the sheer fun and desire of it.

Well, there goes my query. Apparently, a hypothesis of a Twin Trend is resolved. There is a drug that shoulders the claim and enhances it. The drug is expensive and it takes more than one pill to work. It differs in the dosages too. The higher the dosage, the better the chances of having twins, the more expensive it is. 360 Pills with 25 mg dosage can cost up to 252 Dollars or roughly 11,000 pesos. But it still depends on the genetic make up if the person really has reproductive challenges to begin with. One has to be aware of the side effects too like abdominal pains, hot flushes and cysts.

As I digest the information, I sipped more wine and tried to shake the image of cloning.

But at the moment, I'm gazing at the People's Special Issue of the three week old twins of the famous couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. This picture garnered them 14 million US Dollars. Those twins might be the richest, youngest, earning twins in the world. But the proud parents are planning to donate the 14 Million US payment to charity...but of course. Might as well keep some educational plans, health plans and trust funds too.


See the full issues: Hello Magazine, People

Mimic Exercise to Lose Weight

"Just like Free Lunch w/o the Calories" says Dr. Evans, leader of the Salk group of Researchers at the Salk Institute of San Diego. He wasn't talking in his sleep. He apparently knows that drugs may introduce the benefits of exercise without the exertion part by just taking this particular pill that "tricks the muscles into thinking they have been working out furiously." Two drugs known as Aicar and GW1516 were studied through experimental mice that have increased endurance, which resulted to an impressive effect. Now they're currently studying with other scientific groups if this could be applied to people and if it's actually safe. If it's proven safe, well, this could be the million-dollar drug everyone would kill for a chance to buy. I say, line me up.

The underlying purpose of the drug was to aid people who are too frail, unhealthy, with conditions (obesity, diabetes), and...er...just too lazy, to improve the effects of any amount of exercise they would generate. Even experts not connected with this hot study like Dr. Johan Auwerx, a specialist in metabolic diseases at the University Louis Pasteur in France, noted the results of these drugs are "pretty" good and seen as treatment for diabetes and obesity. To lose weight and be healthy one should have a proper diet and exercise, but to have the exercise part mimicked will surely be a plus if not a glorious factor.

Although it's too good to be true that I wonder what possible muscular or non-muscular side effects it would generate. It might either make the silly eyelid twitch longer perhaps Or occasional painful cramps? This is just paranoia talking, but ultimately we shall decide once it's been concluded safe. I'm sure that once it's released commercially, there are willing souls to try it out without the 'exertion" part. Until a first set of critical testimonials is issued, then I'm more than willing to wait.

Read full article here in NYTimes.

G-Shot for G-Spot?! Say What?

Necessity is the mother of invention. I think that statement has been used a thousand times and unfortunately it's stuck with me today. I've read three articles that already gave truth to it. One is regarding the invention and increase in telecommunication features with the rise of phone per person ratio that we Filipinos popularized. Another is the invention of other alternative transportation methods to ease up economic lashing. And lastly, on a more kinky, cosmetic note, enhancing a woman's G Spot.

G spot? Say what? My ears aren't that virgin about this, especially with my exposure to Sex and City shows and the crazy intense TV air times of Dr. Margie Holmes (who has her own official site by the way, learn from the expert people). G Spot apparently is very important for every woman. Women, especially men, should be aware of this. Apparently if you ask a man if he knows anything about a woman's G-spot, he's supposed to say yes, otherwise ask for someone to give him a crash course.

G-Spots are apparently important for women to achieve sexual satisfaction. Again, based on sexual oriented shows like Sex and The City, women aren't known to be as successful like men in the satisfaction department. Like a woman's psyche and personality, sexual satisfaction is often times complicated and less technical.

The article by Rhea Catada of Manila Times, quotes Dr. Marinduque in explaining that women's sexual pleasure is often complicated, like figuring out those buttons and levers in the airplane's cockpit, to get it working. It's not as idiot friendly as operating the man's side. The doctor cites three things that make women satistifed. The mind (woman's mental state during the act), the clitoris (for minor orgasms) and the G-Spot (for bigger, mind blowing orgasms). Okay there's a level???

The article says that the first two "levels" in acquiring satisfaction are no-brainers. It's usually the third or main level where men usually fail. Some women don't even know what a G-Spot is, including me. Researching, G-Spot is short for Granfenberg Spot, named after the German gynecologist Ernst Granfenberg. According to his findings in 1944, it's located in the anterior vaginal wall two inches from the opening. G-Spot satisfaction ofte relies on "positions" and "girth of the equipment."

Say if you've done all the natural methods to look and satisfy this certain G-spot and still efforts remain fruitless, this is where invention comes in. Beverly Hills 6750 Multi Specialty Aesthetic Institute, headed by Dr. Marinduque, is pioneering the G-Shot procedure in te country. To be able to cosmetically enhance the G-Spot, the woman should first identify where it is or best ask the assistance from her partner. Once it has been identified, the doctor will give the G-Spot a G-Shot and as a result, the G-Spot will expand to get more sensations in the future sexual activity. The procedure costs about 40,000 pesos and takes about 20 minutes to accomplish. Dramatic, positive changes in women's sex lives are promised. (Manilatimes)

Invention for sexual enhancement is a personal question if it's a "want" or a "need". Nowadays, with all the information at hand, this natural "need" is something most cannot deny anymore. Women are more empowered than ever. They are aware of their needs, and I believe this should be one of them. I'd hate to think that women do not get half of the bargain with all that effort and attachment. Some may even go on with their lives not acknowledging it just because they don't know that it actually exists. Well now they know how medical science has ushered this invention to help them enhance an aspect of their adult lives. And for women who believe and live in the philosophy of Samantha Jones of Sex and the city, "Sex without Orgasm is pointless," then the G-Shot invention might be something that's considered a need.