It's March and I'm feeling anxious.
March is always the month to close the first quarter of the year, which is the perfect time to assess my life's performance so far. At this rate, three months have passed and a lot of things should have happened based on what I planned, certain life changing moments for a better year. I should have applied and received progress on my job applications. I should have at least worked out and lost weight for the summer. I should have achieved something I'm genuinely proud of. January is for transitioning and baby steps. February is supposed to be the follow-through. March should already provide certain results.
Let me see. I did take some baby steps in January. More or less I've figured out what I want to achieve for this year. There were missteps along the way, but fixable. For February, the follow through wasn't that solid and now that I'm on the first day of March I've yet to sit down and think if I'm on the right track.
For now, March makes me feel such an under-achiever. Yes, I might have taken the necessary baby steps, but the follow through wasn't as aggressive. I had a lot on my plate, a lot of it was contributed by office stress. As far as I'm concerned I've been busy, but my achievement folder isn't buffed. I've nothing to publish and nothing to be extremely proud of except for occasional moments of resisting powerful temptations. My first quarter so far is in a slow pace.
But I'd like to think there is still hope. I still have 31 days of March starting to day and it's not even lunch time. I have to work extra hard to reach my desired pace. Hopefully by 31, I have more positive things to report.
Speaking of March, it's my father's birthday. Well...technically.
My father is born on February 29, which serves as an explanation for his sometimes irrational behavior and thinking. Since it isn't leap year, he celebrated his birthday on the 27th. Guessing his age always requires a more challenging mathematical computation. As his felicitations extends in two days and they're both technically correct, my family greeted him on the 28th whereas I'd like to greet him on March 1.
We're lucky to have a father like him. But he's far from perfect. He's irrational, hot tempered and very harsh. He has expectations high above the ceiling. He is over protective and he is prejudiced. But he tries extra hard to mend his ways when he's too much. I can always see his retribution and effort. He is a caring father who always assumes the role of a solid provider even if it kills him with work sometimes. He is a man born from the slumps and eased his way unto this world. Like any story of a heroic father, he provided his family a good shelter, his kids great education and people around him a sustainable lifestyle. To others he is a miracle businessman, always on the battle field of business relationships and transactions. To others he is a charmer and a true friend. To us, he is a father, the only father that we see, admire and respect.
I have to say that I'm very thankful that he is still with us despite his complications and challenges. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I thank him for giving us life. He gives us a good a life and without him I believe our structure would crumble. At this rate, I'd like to think he's still strong, powerful and my protector, but there are days when I realize that he's only human who can grow tired and weak. There are times that as children, we know we have to assume his multiple roles. But the question of succeeding remains a question.
My father is an unbelievable man. No president, business tycoon or any father could match him for me. He will always set the bar. I may not understand him all the time. There are days that we clash and most certainly we're not affectionate. But he should know that he is appreciated. I'm his non-traditional daddy's girl and I thank him for being here. I thank god for giving him to us.
Happy Birthday, Pa. Your life has been colorful and I hope it stays that way.