I am not Artistic

I appreciate art. I can look at a specific visual art form and generate my own preferences and opinions. Art from sculpture, to digital, to graphics, to photography and paintings, I appreciate. I can even see myself wandering around an art museum and attend art exhibits. I've done that a couple of times and I really had fun.

The problem is, I only APPRECIATE. I do not CREATE.

I've fully accepted the fact that I don't have the capability or desire to create art, at least as far as visual arts are concerned. Anything artistic that I need to do with my hands stresses me out. I don't have surgeon's hands.

My hands are very heavy and clumsy. Coloring inside the lines is a chore for me ever since I was a kid. Cutting something without the unnecessary edges is NOT something to expect from me. I don't have drawing skills, although I did elevate my skill one notch when I was into Anime in my high school years. I was obsessed and practically secluded myself one whole summer, listening to Japanese music while practicing on how to draw Kurama's gentle face. Now my drawing skill has become below average instead of pathetically poor. Dabbling in painting as they say is therapeutic, but I've never considered it. I'm poor with mixing colors, shadowing and graceful strokes. Same goes with photography. Photography is not all about concepts and themes. It's a mixture of vision, color coordination, lighting, geometry and the most painful technical aspect. Even food preparation, basic art stuff, gift wrapping and flower arrangement are burden. Tinkering with Photoshop is more convenient for me, but I doubt if my creations would blow anyone's mind away. I can seriously surround myself with artistically capable people, mastering their specific crafts, but it would take lot of unnatural efforts to influence me because I know, deep inside, I really truly suck at art.

Mind you I'm not being exaggerated here. Deep inside I would love to create art, but I just can't. Let's talk about my personality. I'm impatient with cutting, tying knots and wrapping. I know I could do it eventually after a million tries, but usually the output is pathetic. I'd rather ask someone to do it for me. My hands destroy art not create them. If I were to do an operation on someone, I'd end up being the murderer. Colors, geometry and spatial expertise are not really my strongest points. That's why when I was in school, I was a pain in the ass of my mom for letting her do my projects and sewing. I always end up being the marketer in school projects, which was fine for me especially if we wanted to pass. Art is one of my weakest subjects and my lowest grade in school. Technically I just passed art because of helpful friends and family who took pity.

Now, I just view art as a form of visual appreciation or therapy. I usually steer clear from making one. I know that if I want to have something organized or designed, I'll just hire someone. It's less painful. Currently that's what I'm doing now. Apparently my father is eager to get into the Christmas Decorating cheer and unfortunately he tasked me to oversee it. I nearly gagged. Clearly the man doesn't know what he's talking about. I can barely put up a Christmas tree, now I have to think of motifs, thingamajics that go with the motifs and not to mention the messy lights assembly that might set our house on fire. I simply cannot.

So I am doing the next best thing, the only thing that I know I can do efficiently. Go online, research and google for freelance Christmas Decorators. If not for my sister's busy schedule, I might even pay her to do it. Once I've got everything in order and all the assigned people in place, I would have to break it to my family gently that it's never too late to accept that I, unfortunately, am not artistic.