Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Christmas Self aspirations

This Christmas I plan to do a lot of things, good and positive things to balance out the shitty encounters I've had these past few days. I may let off steam, but I do try to retaliate with kindness. As the good tidings spirit may delay its influence might as well pave the way on my own.

1. Donate to Charity

I know I'm broke, seriously, and I don't have any means to donate lavishly to my chosen charity. But you know what, I'd still donate. The onslaught of Ondoy made me realize how a single effort could make a difference. It has also taught me to appreciate what I have right now. I know hardships may plague me left and right, but I always try my best to think of the positive things I have (even if I fail sometimes). And this Christmas, my goal is to share it with those in need. Enough of the overrated me for a change. For the past 25 years of my life Christmas is about me, my happiness especially since it's my birthday. Why don't I cut down on the ME part and share it with others who deserve it? I want my Christmas to be more meaningful this time and I want the goodness and generosity to thrive in me. I've had my shortcomings too and it's time to redeem myself.

2. Forgive those I can.

This is harder. I'm real to an extent that I firmly cling on to my beliefs and I do not take lightly any offense taken against me. Forgiveness is never an easy act for me. It takes years and a lot of bumps in the head to forget. I'm the type who forgives when she forgets and I seldom forget. Heck, I don't even use the word that much. I'm also not comfortable immediately suggesting to people that they should forgive, because I know that it's bullshit sometimes, I know it's not going to happen instantly.

I know this is very unchristian of me, but I heal and cope the best way I can. I'm not God. I have to work on the aspect of forgiveness. It's just me. This doesn't mean that I won't give respect where it is due. I could still be civil and calm, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I have forgiven. I'm not pretentious either so I just operate within the norms of proper decorum.

Forgiving is a sensitive thing and sometimes painful thing to achieve. One has to go through a lot of self-actualization and reflection. External forces do help, but most of the time forgiveness takes time. I'm not forcing myself, but I will try to reevaluate the offense and scars this Christmas. Hopefully the good tidings will do me good and forgive those who I can.

3. Offer self more

There are many things that I don't like, but just like donating to charity, I will try my best to like them. I don't go to usual Christmas gatherings if I don't want to. I don't do things that I don't feel like. I don't engage with unfavorable people. I don't socially offer anything beyond what is necessary. I just do what I like when I want and when I want it. In short, I'm a bit selfish. Okay fine, I'm selfish.

Now is the chance to offer myself more and interact. Be selfless. I'll stop explaining now or i'll cringe.

4. Organize my life better

I will organize my life more and promise to be better. I need to steer away from clutter and untangle the aspects that need untangling in my life. In return, I can be more productive. I have things planned from creating a new website, cleaning and organizing my room and listing down goals to achieve this 2010. I would highlight my mistakes and try my best to be aware of not making them next year.

I would list down specific goals that would make me a better, fulfilled person. I would save more and hopefully be financially healthy next year. I would try to gear my life towards what I really want to do and continue doing the things that would empower and enhance my capabilities. I'm not getting any younger. I have to do things efficiently next time.

Also I need to do things that I've been putting on hold for years due to fear.

5. Celebrate

Celebrating my birthday and the yuletide cheer with friends and family is always a best way to end the year and sum it all up for the Almighty. I will take time and effort to organize the celebration and be charitable and selfless at the same time.

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