Monday, January 11, 2010

Monday Morning Blues

I was supposed to go to work early today, but something (lack of sleep, desire to read another chapter, documentation) came up. I just had breakfast of cottage cheese and toast with my favorite star of the morning, my coffee. Unfortunately, it was only an instant coffee mix..sugarfree. It doesn't matter, but a friend,who originally hails from Batangas, gave me a pack of authentic Barako Coffee for Christmas. I have yet to try it. For the past few weeks, Starbuck's had pulled my leg to buy drinks from them to complete the stickers for the planner, sayang naman kasi. Probably next week, after I get back from Cebu, I'll finally get a sampling of that Barako.

Speaking of Starbucks, I'm looking at my planner right now and listing down pending items I've yet to do. I also noticed that there's this one task that's been egging on my list. It should've been done last week, but I still have yet to receive an update on it. As far as I'm concerned I have not been short in providing my input. I am not out of reach either. In fact I'm already crossing the border of becoming a nagger and an obsessive compulsive. Usually, when there's something that needs to be done and is delayed, I get extremely anxious. I get anxious even more if the situation depends on another person and I'm left waiting. I do not want to offend and act bossy, but I don't want to be served at the chopping block either. I'm giving it till today to get the situation clear or I'll have to steer it with my own hands.

That is primarily the reason that I work well alone than in teams. I want to call the shots and do things my way, a typical bossy brat that I am, I could be a pain in the ass. I am aware that people see my restrained features if I don't say what I want and I disagree but agree just to keep the false harmony. I am very transparent and I could hold my tongue for as long as I could, but if I've reached my limit, I will do what needs to be done and surrender to the social consequences after. There's more fulfillment and satisfication if I get things done right and people hating me for the wrong reasons rather than get passive and people liking me for the wrong reasons. That is just not the way to live for me. Like the boyfriend always advises me, "So what, in the end you only want to get things done."

I'm giving it till today. There goes the caffeine.

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