Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Rough Tuesday morning

It's going to be a rough morning for me. The lack of energy, proper mental stimulation and spirit could even dog me the whole day. In short, I lack decent sleep. Take note of the word decent.

I spent the whole night and a couple of hours after midnight playing SIMS 3. As if I'm genuinely surprised about that. I had unconsciously prepared myself the whole evening for it. While dining out with Mitch last night, I felt the sudden itch to go home like I had to do something really important that it could not wait. He didn't have to guess why I was so eager to go home. He knew that partly I miss Harvey. It was also never my character to dine out only to find the need to go home and rest. I'm not a TV person either and unless there was a new book that I wanted to finish, there is only this one thing that anchors me home. SIMS.

After dinner, I found myself getting a large coffee with extra shot to prepare for a long night as if I'd be making my thesis. Normally I'd retire at around 11 pm, but ended up making my second complicated SIMS house at 12 am without feeling fatigue or drowsiness. I said to myself that by 12:30 am I would have to log off and try to sleep, but magically two hours had passed by. If not for my sister's probing to use the desktop I would've gone on until dawn.

The hassle part of the whole story was I, already wearing my pajamas and lying comfortably in bed, couldn't sleep flawlessly no matter how I tried. I slept lightly. Faint sounds or movements would snatch me away from Lala-land. In fact I forced myself to stage my own Lala-land in the event that my mind gets tired. I forced myself to dream of silly things, counted sheeps even only to be awaken repeatedly. I began to sleep at 3 am then would wake up at 3:30, then wake up again at 3:45 and even peeked at 4:30. It was a cheap attempt to sleep and it was not close to decent. My alarm eventually woke me up at 5:55.

As I make this post, I wonder how my mind would be useful for analyzing when it's not fully rested. The long weekend was supposed to recharge me, but for the past couple of days, I only infused myself with food to compensate for the lack of decent sleep. That's hardly the plan at all.

This morning I struggled getting up, getting dressed and feeling like a zombie as I walk in our corporate halls. I would definitely try my best to be attentive and to be mentally alert. I don't know how, but caffeine seems to be a temporary and accessible answer. AllI can do is to try my best to operate normally until I'd get that real uneventful sleep, which I doubt will happen tonight unless I'm physioloically defeated and SIMS gets corrupted of course.

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