I've never had any past romantic relationships aside from what I have right now. Blame it on the lack of social graces, naturally introverted personality, overconfidence and conscious wallowing in naivete. I had crushes, sure, but seldom with real, attainable human beings. I was always happy with the fantasies I stirred. I don't think you could count my "relationships" with Johnny Depp, Cillian Murphy, Paul Bettany, John Malkovich, Gary Oldman, Christian Bale, Kurama, Kenshin Himura real. I know that early on since I have always kept a full grap on reality. But these guys and my certain fantasies supplied me with enough inspiration and emotional exercise at the time when my contemporaries were busy attending to courtships and relationship stress in their highschool-college years. But if it was anything, it scared the hell out of my friends and family. I just didn't mind. I was devoted to these guys even though they are figments of my imagination. I was devoted and very faithful. I never juggled two fantasies at the same time. Even in fantasy I have principles and one of it is monogamy.
In my fantasies, I only dream of the happy and breathtaking moments. While I was pretending to be listening to our Chemistry teacher as she talked about marrying elements and adding them up, I was formulating my own combinations and visions in my head. I would imagine Kurama, with his long red hair and dashing eyes, entering my classroom and whisking me in his red Ferrari car scandalously parked outside our school grounds. I would dream of us traveling to Paris, Greece and eating strawberries and chocolates in Belgium. Then naturally a music video pops in my head. We were of course the stars. One of that songs would be Take on Me by A-ha. I would dream of the bliss, the happiness and the endless possibilities only. It's my dream, I could edit it and basically I thought I could make it work in reality if you find the right person. But at least I know by now, that relationships even with the right person aren't always as blissful.
In the real world, the guy isn't perfect. He could very well just sweep you off your feet and an unexplainable force somehow seals you together. But that seal is not fool proof. It could never be foolproof and the expiration varies for different couples. There are 101 factors that nurture or destroy the relationship and humans, the lovers, could only do so much to save it. The seal might break, strengthen or be renewed. No one knows. It sounds like a narration of a leaking pipe, but that's just how love in romantic relationship works. As much as the couple acts as one, there is still the subject of external factors and internal factors that change and test the relationship through time. Almost no one knows the right answers and people just have to learn to get by. Relationship is not always blissful. It really hurts at times and no amount of daydreaming or fantasies can ever ignore and sugarcoat the real heartaches and breaks of a relationship. That is the the truth and also a risk that everyone who falls in love has to take.