Yeah I admit I was crazy-emotional at that time. Looking back, I think I was just too excited. Come to think of it, I never saw myself as buying a car because I don't even like driving. But the prospect of acquiring some grand possession in any adult's life was something I looked forward to. In my age, if you don't have a family, you could either get (pay for) your own place or a car. It's a true mark of independence and being successful. Since I could only afford a car now, so car it is!
I was having a steady day until I found out that my planned car, the car that I was ready to get on April 15, was already gotten by a friend who exists in a very close circle. Being transparent and honest with myself, I was upset. The feeling of excitement was automatically replaced by upset and disappointment. The taste of my sweet mango dessert suddenly tasted bland. My family quickly observed that I have resulted to staring in open spaces. My dad tried to cheer me up by broadcasting to the family that they can't wait to see my new car on April 15. In my mind, I wanted to throw up.
If I might remind, my father encouraged me to buy my car last year. He agreed to help me in the down payment. I especially thought it was perfect timing then because I had a favorable loan facility as part of my employment package. The whole idea just grew so big and so fast that I went into my obsessive compulsive research. I went through online, interviews and even went as far as going to the dealership a couple of times. When I finally decided on getting this particular car from the model to the color, I fixed my loan papers. I was so excited until someone else got the exact model and color I wanted. Someone I know, who knew my plans and whom I randomly see around, got my car. I was stunned and crazy angry. I pulled off my loan approval and since then I cursed that particular car (with the owner) and I totally wiped off the idea of acquiring one. I even fell into a panic attack and was this close to buying the next car I see just to spite fate. But it was useless and stupid. I let the idea die a natural death.
But feelings do change even for a bit. I have changed my career location and going to work now really requires a car. Since my sister's already working, I couldn't borrow hers. I still didn't worry because I could always use the extra family car. But my father didn't approve. He wanted me to get my own and I have to do it quickly. He said that this is the timing that I'm looking for. This is not a want anymore, it has been elevated to a need.
I got scared. I didn't want to revisit the frustration that I had last year. I was so quiet and secretive on my choices. I tried to get my excitement under control. In fact, I just feel like buying a very unimportant thing. Probably the hype died down completely and I became more objective on my choices. I am now working on my budget and hopefully get the car that I really want. I will get a loan of 2 years maximum. Beyond that is just too much baggage. I already have a couple of choices in mind and the acquisition is in progress.
I'm happy that there's still an opportunity like this. Just like getting my current job, if it's really for you, then there's no reason why you shouldn't get it. I hope this car project would succeed. If it's for me, then it's for me. So far, so good. Finally I realize the reason behind my frustration in 2009. I was working it in the wrong year. Fate and Faith works hand in hand.
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