One most important reason why I think I couldn’t and shouldn’t be a doctor is because I don’t have the required people skills. Most do not actually consider this as a factor for medical practitioners. Who needs people skills in a medical field or in an operating table? But it matters most especially to patients. In the medical field where people are the usual clients, sentimentalities and feelings are involved. We are not machines and medical practitioners may face instances of empathizing or in depth emotional interaction with patients. This is where I will, hands down, fail.
I don’t empathize that much, and if ever I do it drains me out. I mostly fail in human interactions in the first place. While I was studying briefly at AIM (Asian Institute of Management), I had a class on Organizational Development. We did an experiment, the Myers-Brigg Test, to know my real personality and to which profession I belong to. It turned out, I lacked in the Feeling trait versus the thinking trait. Plus, I rely more on “calculated” intuition rather than scientific detailing, two most important facets of personality a doctor must have. According to the test, a medical professional should be able to meet high demands on the Sensory part (Details, scientific data) while being able to integrate well on the aspect of Feeling (Caring for a patient, engaging in interactions etc.). Apparently I scored very low on the feeling part and mostly I rely on my calculated intuition rather than memorized data. In the end my agreeable result came up. According to the test, I could be better off as a librarian, a researcher or some professional that requires knowledge process management preferably in an isolated environment.
Medical practitioners for me are people in between. We expect them to be good with what they do, scientifically. Their mind should always be working and vigilant with data gathering and medical interpretations. Yet, at the same time, we expect them to be nice, caring and soothing. Their mantra shouldn’t just be limited to eliminating or curing an ailment. They should also be caring and soothing in the process. They should consider the patient’s feelings, emotional concerns and psychological whiplash, aside from just interpreting medical data.
Maybe that’s the real reason why this profession is hard. You can’t blame if medical practitioners shield themselves up to properly do their job. Being faced with human concerns is so draining. It might take a lot of painstaking years to study and manage medical science, but it takes a lifetime to practice it. They might have had it rough balancing these two aspects, but as a patient, I wouldn’t have it otherwise.
I think majority of the medical practitioners from Biotechs to Doctors I’ve consulted with, exhibited a certain level of care for me even for a little percent. However I had some medical practitioners, who “almost” have the same personality as mine. It’s not advisable for which I will expound on. Based from experience, I prefer my doctors to be people in between.
Doctors that I’ve consulted with (Majority) are of course focused on fixing whatever’s wrong with me, but at the same time they make sure I am more comfortable in the process. Most nurses, biotechnicians, doctors and specialists, who administered my general check-ups, emergency cases, specialist consultations and minor surgeries, are worthy of my praise just because I’m a really difficult patient. When I go to the hospital for any reason I get quite nervous, but I don’t whine and fidget. I do worse. I blab and ask. I ask them about questions to distract myself. I would share with them what I read on the net, which they would usually dispute and laugh. I would ask them about the specific procedures they would do to me. I tell them my own medical interpretation and observations. Somehow these medical practitioners would gladly oblige, and they haven’t answered me with a condescending and irritated tone, whereas if I were doctor I’d do the opposite. Sometimes they would talk to me and answer back while doing their job that involves a lot of concentration. These medical practitioners mind you, unlike any other professionals, have less room for mistakes. When they put an I.V. in me, they don’t do trial and error. When they prescribe something for me, they know it’s best for my condition since my money and my health are involved. They show they care, and they take time to understand my feelings and concerns outside the medical field.
However, there are doctors, a couple whom I’ve consulted with that are just pain in the ass. It made me wonder why they even chose to be in this field in the first place? I had a male dentist near our village and he traumatized me with his heavy hands, intense drilling and grouchy attitude. I’ve always liked dentists, but he successfully traumatized me. He didn’t as much made his hands lighter and it’s like he’s taking care of a mouth of a drugged dog. How I wish I were the dog, at least I’m drugged. I had to always tell him that it hurts like hell but he just told me to: “Tiisin mo nalang para mabilis tayong matapos.” I would’ve preferred it if he encouraged me and made me feel brave or something. I would’ve preferred it if he took a break or do some necessary improvements with his method. But no, he answered me like he was damn bored and irritated. He didn’t even mention my name nor asked me once if his procedure hurt. He is heartless, mechanical and it’s as if he is the best in his field to be arrogant. He might probably have the same knowledge and skills compared to my previous dentist, but his attitude suck. So, he received the lowest of the low for me and I never bothered to consult with him ever again. Unfortunately he still has his unappealing clinic in front of our village. And whenever I pass by, I often think how I would love to drill some sense into his cranium.
There was also one incident where I was rushed to Makati Med because of my allergies. It was one of my serious allergy attacks to date. I was wheezing, which was a bad sign. My eyes bulged like an abnormal guppy that you couldn’t see any white area of my eyes anymore. It was far worse than the normal allergy attacks I’ve had because my eyes, at that time, were really bulged that the flesh was so red and it looked like it could explode any minute. When I went to the emergency room, patients who were suffering from something else forgot their concerns and just looked at me. Gape is a better term. Nurses and receptionists assisted me like an old woman when I can still practically move. I was seated there, wheezing, when a mature specialist was called from the other floor. When he saw me, he was enraged that I wasn’t attended to and they just asked me a couple of questions. He told the young residents that the way my eyes looked, it were likely to explode and could cause complications in my eye veins. I was wheezing as the allergic reactions were already trying to block my air passage. I was immediately put into a nebulizer, injected me a couple of drugs while I was transferred to the nearby bed. That kind and aggressive doctor talked to my parents while I was feeling groggy on the corner. Suddenly, there was a relatively young resident, dressed in blue, who went to my area and inserted a couple of drugs in my veins. The next vision I saw was more than 6 people were gathered around me, talking and pointing specific areas in my eyes as I tried to clinch my yellow Giordano shirt. Heartless fools. I felt like a guinea pig. Do they sincerely think that I’m too groggy to hear them? A couple laughed and apparently expressed their rants about the doctor. I bet one of them was scolded. I couldn’t react or even utter a word. Shame. I just fell asleep.
I understand that we all have different personalities and we have varying ways of coping up with interactions. I can even tell that some are not naturally friendly, yet they make an effort to smile, entertain questions and check themselves against the feelings of the patient. They treat patients not as mere flesh that needs to be healed, but a human being with emotions about something medical or life threatening. Yes they may be experts in science and facts. They are specialized and they do know something essential that most of us do not know. They are respected professionals who cure, ensure and maintain the quality of health to properly live. Yet they must also consider that a lot of progress or health improvements come from an intense or spirited individual. If doctors are mere mechanical creations and couldn’t care less of what people feel, then they should be deduced as “body mechanics” and not “medical practitioners.” Understanding it now, a lot of medical matters may concern science but a bulk of it also concerns psychological and emotional well being. There might be a lot of medical equipment and computers to cure ailments, provide analysis and provide research, but having doctors to talk to and consult with could never be replaced by mere machines. I just hope most doctors understand that fact.
Article on Doctors
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