Remembering my Eerie Experience

I’ve already finished two chapters of Alan Lightman’s Ghost this morning, as I finished my French toast and bacon; nothing beats a promising book to start the morning of the first day of the work week. David, the protagonist, talks about his unbelievable encounter with a ghost. IN this chapter, he is veering on disbelief that such things could happen, as he struggles to have a clearer grasp of his sensibilities. He tried to write, evaluate his senses and insert logic at something illogical. He wants to put the “moment” on the shelf because things like these if not, either make one who experiences it, crazy because he can't understand it. Or make him sound and look crazy, when he cannot confide and seek help from sane people.

In the first chapter, I already saw myself in David in so many ways that made it easier to understand his views. But moving onto the second chapter, it gets freaky how he fits my own representation.

The first time he saw a ghost, he became uneasy and tried to push the idea aside. He tried to use logic and reevaluated his faculties. He kept reminding himself that he has always been a man of sense and facts. He is not “suggestible.” He registers everything that’s backed up with sense and logic. Apparently ghosts are not one of them. I am probably the same. If ever I saw a ghost, really saw one face to face, and not like a passing light in peripheral vision, I would also try my best to reassess my senses like what David did. I’d probably exhaust my mind looking for loopholes or loose screws. I’d test my mind as far as I can just to see that I still have my faculties with me. Here are the tests I’d probably administer on myself:

1. I’d probably recite the 12 Olympian gods and goddesses, both their Roman and Greek Names. I’d throw in another 5 minor gods, and the names of 9 Muses. If I can’t do that, I’m probably screwed.
2. I’d type 90 words per minute in a QWERTY keyboard. If I go below that, I’m definitely screwed.
3. I’ll list down all the passwords, SSS number, TIN number, phone numbers and all pertinent numbers relating to my existence.
4. I’ll recite and list down datawarehousing and project management methodologies I’ve had worth 3 years of experience.
5. I’ll write down important quotes I’ve read in my lifetime. If I can’t get five, complete with details: name of the book, author and the character who said it, then I’m DEFINITELY..definitely screwed.
6. I’ll list down all the pertinent places in my house where I keep all my collections. Scattered books at the computer table, any table, TVs, Orocans and bed. Anime videos individually packed, anime cards, albums etc, notes etc.
7. I’ll probably make one coherent blog post about something relevant. If I can’t go past 1 paragraph, consider me mentally handicapped.
8. I’ll try to have a meaningful or not-so meaningful conversation with Mitch, Je, Rosella and Tim David and let them evaluate if I’m losing it already.
9. To test my mind and body coordination skills, I SHOULD be able to beat JD at Tekken 5…effortlessly by using Julia Chang.
10. I should be able to drive my car, without getting into any kind of accidents, to places I love going. Being there, I should be able to be immersed in the crowd without getting hurt or lost.

If I can’t pass that test, it’s either I’m recovering from a shock or I’ve gone crazy.

In truth, I really wouldn’t know how I would react if I see a ghost. Actually, I think I saw one before although it was on peripheral vision. At that time, I didn’t actually think it was a ghost since the image is exactly like Margie’s, my housemate. I just realized it then when we arrived at work and I tried to confirm why she came room hopping after taking a bath. I was confirming if she was holding a sort of prank for Morty, our other housemate, who sleeps at the other room where she came from. Here’s the story:

Roughly two years ago, I shared a 2 bedroom apartment in Cubao with 6 housemates. We had different shifts then, so we seldom felt that the apartment was crowded. There was one time when I had to cover the project shift with Margie and Annie. At that time we were only three in the house since Morty, MJ and Sam were still at work. So at around 9 pm, we started to get a bath and dress up. Margie went first. I went second and Annie went last.

I am usually the Speedy Gonzales in the bathroom. I don’t have any rituals, and I don’t daydream nor sing, especially on a work day. I just go inside and do mechanical bathroom activities like Soap, shampoo, scrub, rinse, the whole routine. I finish way ahead than an average woman. Margie and Annie roughly stay inside the bathroom for an average of 30 minutes, and that’s already speeding it, while I stay 15 minutes tops. So it’s not a surprise whenever I crawl back to my room to dress up, the one who went in first has just chosen which clothes to wear.

So one night, with my hair dripping and head slightly focusing on the steps, on my top peripheral vision, I saw a petite figure, most definitely a woman, rushing from Morty’s room to ours. I instantly looked up. So, at that point, I wasn’t really making any “suggestions.” Being stuck in the middle of the stairs with only a towel on with my hair dripping wet, while I was thinking of possible research cases that would harass me, were hardly a conducive time, place nor situation to be “imagining” ghosts.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I went inside my room and saw Margie halfway done with dressing up. Since I was too immersed with work, I didn’t bother to ask what she was doing in Morty’s room and to vocally state my amazement on how she got dressed so quickly. Since it was a product of peripheral vision, I couldn’t exactly defend myself if she was indeed dawned with a towel or she was already halfway dressed. We went to work, still thinking about my cases, and never mentioning that peculiar incident to anyone. Honestly, I thought it wasn’t that alarming.

During our break, on the same day, I was googling on my computer and casually asked what Margie was doing in Morty’s room. If ever there was a prank, Morty should have already known at that time since he’s already at home. I was bored and too jaded with too many research cases and was hoping Margie could provide some sort of entertainment. She looked at me, similarly jaded, and asked what the hell I was talking about. I repeated myself and asked her what she was doing in Morty’s room after she took a bath. She just looked at me, with creased eyebrows, and said she didn’t go to Morty’s room, and most definitely she didn’t plant any prank. Then I began to tell her my “supposed” sighting. Margie, who is more traditional, was mildly bothered and reverted to her superstitious beliefs. I for one was annoyed because I didn’t want to believe that I saw a ghost, yet I know I saw something and my senses never fail me. She asked a couple of times if I was imagining things, like what happens in the movie. I told her that I wasn’t. I saw it in peripheral vision, the fact that I have successfully performed my task for the today and can still spell peripheral, are enough to convince her that I’m not crazy. I saw something. And if ever my personality precedes me that I like imagining things, well, I imagine things when I want to or allow myself to, and not out at random and after taking a bath.

In a few hours’ time, the story leaked out on the floor and the next day, it was known that our newly furnished apartment is haunted. Thank god Margie didn’t freak out, since it was her shape that I saw, yet she believes it more than I do. They say it wasn’t really a ghost, but a doppelganger, a spirit who copies people’s Physicalities. They’re supposed to be bad omen or even depicting death. Well, assessing it now, Margie and I have moved out of the apartment and changed career paths and still in a way successful more than ever. I guess an illogical sighting can not be supported by an irrational thinking.

That’s my most personal experience with a “ghost” so far. I have scary dreams, illogical dreams that some people can’t handle, yet I haven’t seen any lady in white or anything like that in the real world. Our maid, some friends, and my other aunties from province say that they see spirits sometimes. I just shrug and take their experience as it is.

So if the question is still left hanging on that fateful night, yes I saw something. I’m sure of it and I’m sure of my senses. But what I’m not sure is whether it was a ghost, a doppelganger or some light trick. It’s different if I saw it face to face, which could give me enough time to study. What I sensed was something swift and peripheral so it opens up to many interpretations.

Truth be told, I’m not an excited individual when it comes to ghosts. Although at some point, I agree that spirits or ghosts do exist. With the number of people who claim they saw these spirits, it’s hard to just discount their findings and conclude at least a quarter of this population is crazy. Let them be the gifted ones who saw what they needed to see. It takes a lot of effort reconciling the illogical in a world that is steaming with sense. So probably I’ll just let them be and respect their experiences. What really matters in the end are what we believe in and which ones we are ready to stand by no matter how illogical it appears to be. Besides, an illogical explanation is better than no attempt to explain at all.