2009. My year of Choices

I'm here at Mandarin Oriental, a few building away from my office, enjoying my banana pancakes with additional bananas of course. It's January 2nd and it's still supposed to be a non-working holiday, but as far I'm concerned I am encouraged to go to work to attend to my global counterparts who are working today. I did entertain the thought of fulfilling my professional duty. My body and actual situation may be willing (as I am walking distance), but my mind cannot. I submitted to my decision of not going to work, spend time with myself and family and that's that.

So I'm left to enjoy the remaining pancakes and black coffee. My brother is swimming and my sister is watching Oprah convinced that if given the time and resources, would undergo a gastric bypass surgery. As I read news and pondered on how we're carrying on the first days of the year, I figured that I will make this year a year of CHOICES.

This year I would empower myself more by exploring lots of options in life's activities, mundane or not. Incorporating lots of choices has never been my thing. I sometimes go with the flow just weighing the pros and cons because I'm afraid to shoulder more responsibilities than I already have. I limit myself to things that are precise and trusted not allowing for experiments. I may make swift decisions based on what is right or wrong for me, but I figured that I don't necessarily have to reach that point. Before saying NO, why not think of lots of reasons to say YES. Encouraging myself this year to entertain lots of choices may empower me to make better decisions.

This year, I will also allow myself to explore choices to cater to my needs and wants. I'm accountable for everything I do and whatever situation I put myself into, with choices I can make myself more flexible. A very bad situation may not entirely make me miserable. I can make a choice to end it or to reverse it no matter how bitchy or abrupt I may be. It's a way to empower myself and make my needs really count.

This year, I will also allow myself to entertain choices for others. Sometimes I could be very stern, hard and unforgiving. This year I would consider choices for the betterment of society. In this way I'd be more considerate to others. These genuine feelings of consideration and generosity are personal choices one has to ponder on. It doesn't really come innately.

Some Choices I've started to entertain:

1. A choice not to go to specific events and functions because I don't feel like it. I'm sparing people from my sullen and painful mood. I'm also choosing for myself despite the odds.
2. A choice of WHEN to eat at eclectic and expensive restaurants, when I can just enjoy eating at home. I should be considerate on other people's wants and needs. I should also give myself a choice to save and spare myself from added indulgence.
3. A choice to take care of others in whatever ways I can. There are lots of ways we can show it and act upon it. It depends on the choices we present ourselves with.
4. A choice to nurture myself by reading carefully chosen titles and not for the sake of just passing time.
5. A choice to sleep for comfort and not feel guilty. A choice not to sleep to attend to chosen tasks for today and not feeling overworked.

I personally like my 2009 Theme. A year full of choices. I choose to live. I choose to laugh. I choose to do this and that. I choose to love someone. I choose to confront someone. I choose to care for someone. Hard choices, easy choices, fun choices and painful choices. It's my life. Whatever I do is my accountability, why limit and endanger my happiness by entertaining limited choices? It may be confusing to some. It may be overwhelming. It may be a hard method one has to master to beautifully live life of empowerment and the belief that we could all do better. If there's one thing that life keeps on teaching us is that we are not like drifted woods that go with the flow and be trapped on an egging tide. We are humans. We are empowered. We have choices.