Sunday, February 22, 2009

A matter of Relationship Importance

**Clearly a matter of utmost importance. Love the seriousness.

And so finally I watched He's Just Not That Into You. Well, if I essentially missed the enlightening rays of knowledge at least I was entertained by it. Thanks to the annoyingly sweet Ginnifer Goodwin who is a desperate woman we all have a tendency to be, to the bitchy character of the voluptuous Scarlett who plays THAT other woman. To Jennifer Aniston's relationship dilemma over the marriage that could and should happen. And to the strong, yet quirky control freak side of Jennifer Connelly. Oh, I forgot to mention Drew Barrymore who is quite forgettable in the movie and the "justifying" friend we all love to have when we enter a relationship mess.

These types of movies, you seldom go alone to. It's either you're with your significant other or with a bunch of friends you can helpfully hold on to while giggling whenever the sudden truth about relationships just represent themselves so graphically on screen. You either do check and balances of what you do or did in a relationship, that's why more than anything, you need a sort of support or anchor. Being independent, strong and fiery maybe ideal and what you have successfully incorporated in your life, but in matters of the heart we can all be screw ups.

But needless to say I went alone. After a day of being productive in the office (SATURDAY OT, people), in the groceries and milking the last cent of my ATM account for my summer cloothes, I met my two friends, who are a strong decade couple for our planned movie date. In short, I was the third wheel.

Not a very ideal position to be in. I was definitely gearing for awkward moments. No matter how I was highly aware of the possibilities, the intrigue and desire to watch a movie overpowered everything. If I can watch movies alone, most definitely I can watch it with a force field. But they are my good friends and it helps that they're not in a trying stage to impress each other. They're not that clingy also, which tends to be very third-wheeler friendly. My man was currently at work with his photography buddies and I had the heart to give him that Movie-Night off. After what I did with him in Milk, that was fairly acceptable.

But the movie wasn't exactly as enlightening as I wanted it to be. ProbablyI was slightly distracted and confused at some point. I might have picked up something useful along the way though, but it wasn't a EUREKA moment. At least the movie did for me was to present an aquarium of relationship situations women face that I might or might have not experienced yet. The whole situational story-telling tends to help us analyze our own "mess" and help deal with the numerous possibilities. To divorce, to be the one to call the guy, to get married, to WANT to get married, to handle "deepshits" that randomly plague every woman in every country in every culture. And that according to Javier, Janine's contractor in the movie,(Jennifer Connelly) that is a lot of prepositions.

While watching the movie, I can't help but do some internal check and balances. For a person who likes to observe and analyze strong signs, I am easily a slave to various interpretations plaguing in my head until I do something stupid. Even though I cannot relate to Jennifer Aniston's character in whining about marriage after 7 years of dating, I looked at my movie dates who have been dating for more than 10 years, and I ask myself if ever I would want to get married. My man and I would drop marriage jokes at each other just because we're in a stage wherein our own friends get married and usually we get asked a couple of times. Well, I may want to get married someday, a respectful move to my culture, to my womanhood and my beliefs in religion, but I fully agree that marriage is not something that could be rushed just because there's a need to provide a proof or for a false security that just end up easily tarnished. I'd rather NOT marry than get married and go through with the draining and embarrassing ANNULMENT possibilities. This marriage thing would be expounded in my future posts though.

I also believe that some women are just too great for their leading men that sometimes I feel cheated as well.

I also believe and have experienced that there there will be other girls out there with specific moral and psychological make-ups that could truly test the waters. We'd love to hate and kill them, sure. But even though they might be genetically similar to Scarlett Johannson's body, golden locks and oozing sex appeal, would I want to be in her position? Flirting with an attached man, my breasts being groped savagely in secrecy in all possible levels? I might be like Scarlett who has the capability to order every man at my disposal, but I doubt if ever I want to be like her.

Going thorugh the check and balances of your relationships or quasi relationships, while giggling and smiling along the way, are things that would eventually happen to you in this movie. It was entertaining and definitely an eye candy. Some of the situations there are exaggerated of course, but one can understand the exaggeration. It's either you want to slap yourself for being like that or pat yourself for being able to keep it together. I suggest watching it with a group though, but have the girls seated together and have their dates or significant others seated together that way support could be drawn at an interesting force from both camps.

This movie is an eye candy and can be very entertaining, but I'd rather read the book to draw wisdom from it. A 2 hour movie is fairly packed and tends to miss out salient points that need further probing on. But I wouldn't stop you from watching it.

But there are other points also which I cannot, for the life of me, relate to:

1. Never had blind dates and never went to a bar to stalk, pick up or get to know a guy. Heck, I never even go to bars. Adhering to blind dates and bar hopping would require a woman to be in a comfortable level of social aggressiveness, with remarkable charm powers, and with a good mentor or conscience. Girls who obviously don't possess these traits and support, wouldn't be able to relate to this and end up making a mess. Whoever told me that "you will never get your prospect husband or boyfriend in clubs and bars" is true to this day, but I accept that there are some exceptions...rare exceptions.

2. Flirting in powerful levels in unprecendented places like groceries, coffee shops and mundane establishments are so easy in the Western world. It's a way of how flirting could lead to date, could lead to sex, could lead to a relationship and could lead to marriage. The sequence in this country is not often true. Also, Flirting here has a thin line of either being "pyscho" or being just an "asshole." It is usually done in bars with a group of friends when one gets a glimpse of a person's background. It rarely happens without support, and the exception is if the person who is asking you out looks like Johnny Depp or Hugh Dancy...and they are really Johnny Depp and Hugh Dancy.

3. Women are equally powerful now. True. Women devote too much emotion and physical initiatives to make a relationship work. They are bound to understand the horrible sides of men and just be the stronger one to fix or get through with it. It's even acceptable for women now to draw the line and be clear about things. Gone were the days of hiding in the dark and enduring whatever crap guys give them. They get assertive and they make a move. But women are also known to over interpret and "stalk." They like challenging and torturing themselves, hence the drama. We also have dark and desperate sides too.

4. Certain rules and ideals of men and women apply in relationship. But there will always be exceptions.
5. I love Jennifer Connelly's character. Obviously, I hate Scarlett Johannson's character, who doesn't! Jennifer Aniston's character, I empathize with, but still has reservations for it. Ginnifer Goodwin's character is annoying and someone I cannot really relate to. Drew Barrymore, well, is a supporting cast and the film's producer.

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