How I've prepared this morning, took a bath and prepared to use enough positive creativity to blog when I found out that my precious and favorite Black watch was missing from my mini-drawer. As far as I'm concerned I don't wear that watch on a normal day and the last time I checked it was there where it should be, visible and neatly placed on my mini drawer. People should know not to mess around with me on this because I take care of my watches meticulously. I have sharp selective memory on food, books, movies and my watches.
On specific items that I value like books and my watches, I am very vigilant on where they are placed. I might be in a hurry and misplace them somewhere, but I do prioritize them, I do remember and I go back. And usually these watches have their own strong representations that I know exactly what I wore even as far as last week basing on the activities I did. They are segregated and cataloged in a way that I would know if I've used it based on my sharp recollection of past activities.
But when I went to my room, preparing to go to the other house and write, I figured to take a sneak peek at my drawer for an OC moment on checking up on my watches. When I found out that my BLACK WATCH was missing, my mind started to flare up and I redirected my anger to my sister since she's the only capable devil of wearing my watches on random occasions. Unlike me, watches for her are petty accessories to pull up a look and not to be regarded as an important time masterpiece. I let her be, as long as it goes back to where it should be and not a scratch in sight.
But when people do not cooperate with me, expect me to be on a roll, I explode like Mt. Pinatubo creating havoc in other areas that aren't supposed to be affected. With my voice and sharp words I create terrible chaos that would leave even my parents with the desire to tie me up. Of course my ever prim and proper mother rushed to the scene and tried to slap me to my senses. My sister having seen that she has someone to back her up defended herself until she threw my watches at me. The nerve. In the middle of the chaos she threw the black watch and accused me for not looking thoroughly. What's done is done and my mother was flaring mad at me as I scream for Frame Up.
My positive energy was drained even though I got my Black Watch back. All the positiveness was overlapped by the intensity of the negative. I know that it's been my sickness and people don't need to remind me on how to control my temper. They just don't get it. I could be very patient and chill on so many things. I'm never considered to be expressive nor flamboyant anyways except for stuff that I value most. I expect the highly valuable things in my life are placed where I left it, or if not it would really tick me off. I go to great lengths at upsetting people and squeezing them out of their peace that I end up being that evil witch at the party. But they just don't get it.
I'm tired of explaining myself that there are few things that I value and I expect to be within my control and reach all the time. I know I'm not perfect and I have some lapses at some point, but I value my judgment more. It might be wrong to rely on that so much that I don't seem to trust the world anymore. It sucks, I know. I end up fighting more people than my own target. After what's done, at some point there is a need to apologize, but after the commotion, most of the times, it's great to be left and subside alone.
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