Writing Circumstances for now

I've said from my other previous post that I cannot find any strength and mood to write due to some weird circumstances happening in my life right now. That is true at some extent, but I know in my heart I need to use words to play around and get myself preoccupied may it be writing a grocery list or just repeating stories upon stories in my laptop.

I've been trying my best to get my mind preoccupied from thoughts and scenes of possible nightmares. Anyone has less idea of how graphic and fast forward my mind works. I sometimes find my mind draining me and tipping me to the edge of craziness.

I've been keeping myself busy driving, going to crowded places and moving stuff around. I need activity to not dwell on my own thoughts. I think it's one of the best solutions for now. Writing about the moments I was preoccupied isn't really "writing" at all though. It's like making a diary or a summary of a film that I've just watched in school. It's boring, but I think it's better than not having to write at all.

Although I do attempt, I'm not sure if I'm capable of providing in depth opinions about everything else. It's quite normal, isn't it? When one has a grave problem, it's harder to make opinions about something else. One cannot afford to care when one is in a heap of impending trouble. I think at this point, that's what's happening to me. I'm devoid of any opinions. I can't hold a coherent thought about anything not concerning me right now. Apparently I also do tend to make myself a mess in expressing my thoughts, but like I've said, until this month pulls through expect to read insubstantial stuff from me.

What I'm going to usually write for now are random things that are happening to me, like moving to the new house, about Harvey, about what happened with my day, silly mundane and less creative posts are what you'll get for a couple days or so.

You can't imagine how I hate this feeling, seriously like I want to go Mars and never come back.

I guess I would just have to observe myself and provide random superficial posts just to get myself preoccupied. I just hope when everything goes well. And when I look back by reading at this post, I knew it was just my paranoia kicking in and not something else.