Thursday, July 24, 2008

Burned, Under Meaningful Search

It's hard to be a bum. It's more complex since you have more room to think and ponder about your situation not unlike if you're just going with the usual daily routine flow. Newsflash, people are mostly afraid of themselves and they naturally avoid this situation. They get engulfed with what 'society' imposes on them and couldn't look at themselves in the mirror. (Sounds like me!) The situation being is that you're unemployed and the focus tends to magnify on the "lack" of what's happening in your life. The "lack of a job" might give the wrong signal of "lack of self-worth." You have no deadlines to think off. You don't have any bosses and officemates to consider. You don't have to wake up early and fight the marching crowd. It immediately sounds "lack of productivity" and "lack of focus." It builds up intense pressure on a person especially if he's trying to shield himself from society's "lack of perspective."

I've been a bum before and it's always by choice. I was drained from working my ass off eversince I graduated in 2003 and I felt that my body and mind screamed for a certain professional halt. Call this bumming a "sabbatical" leave. I visited my province. I went around cruising with friends. I became familiar with noon time shows, played SIMS like there's no tomorrow and focused on myself and my goals. After those 6 months of leave, I was calmer, more attuned to my needs and have a clearer grasp of my goals. I never saw myself, not even for one bit, unproductive. It was a positive thing.

Most people do not appreciate when this time comes to them. Most people fail to realize that we are the ones who create our own race. We can easily turn things around for the better or worse. Most people believe that being a bum accounts for something negative since it's a form of societal disgrace, but few think about it as a form of transition. It's great that you have a job and you're contributing to the economy, but who are you fooling if that job is merely a job created out of necessity. It's realistic, yet is it really the only life you choose to live? Some may have answered that question, but some never thought of that at all. It's great if you have a career that maximizes everything you have ever stood for, yet what good is there if your mental and physical health are sacrificed? It's good that you have a job in an industry that glitters in the sky, yet you come home unhappy. People fail to embrace being a bum because they might be scared about the realizations of the life they are living. It's scary to see society's expectations crumbling in front of you. It's painful, but if done right, it's a rejuvenating process.

I have been a bum once and now I'm a bum again. One instance is out of choice, and the other forced me to make a choice. I accepted it whole heartedly and made the most out of it. I never once saw myself worthless and I think I'm more powerful than what Society Expects me to be. Being a bum thought me a lot of things about myself; and I wonder how many people can go through the same experience.

Now that I have less than 30 days of becoming a bum again, I somehow felt boredom raining on my parade. For some reason, I missed the chaos and corporate warfare. I tried to channel it through going out, immersing myself with the crowd rather than being a hermit, which I'm always used to doing anyways. With the signs, I would go and involvein various projects like documenting our house, making a sort of indie film with a couple of bum friends, trying to see and make a paper of a bum's life and just enjoy nature and my loved ones doing simple things like cooking for them, having dinner with them, being their personal assistant, which I have already initiated yesterday when I was busy making medical appointments for my boyfriend. I'm trying to delve in things I wouldn't normally do and it teaches me new things about the world and myself. I get to share more and incorporate more to take me on my next challenging journey.

Being a bum is not something to be feared off if done right. I should be an expert in this. Being a Bum is really a transition of greater things to come. It's all in the mind and perfect timing of execution. And whenever you say the word BUMS, it goes beyond the concept of slacking. We are just people trying to prepare for a different flight. Do not ever pity Bums because they might be doing something greater and braver few have ever had the courage to do. Bums are more than just a segment of society. They are Burned souls Under Meaningful Search.

2 comments:

Ravon said...

I think there is nothing wrong about not having a job or being a bum. There is a Chinese saying, "we rest so that we can travel a longer journey". Not having a job now allows you to have a clear thought of what you really want to achieve in life.

I think people try so hard to cling on to their job is not just because they want to be accepted by society, but also the fact that they needed money to survive.

To be stuck in a race is terrible. I tried that before when I worked during my vacation. Day in day out, I feel like a zombie or an automated machine, repeating the same thing over and over again. The prospect of doing that for life really terrifies me.

kaye layson said...

I like that Chinese saying because it's so true, based from experience.