Blogging out of Despair

It's the start of a long weekend today and it seems I've kind of wasted half of my Saturday already. I woke up late and on not so cheery terms. I've mismanaged my lunch schedule. I ate more than I used to and I bawled my eyes out due to discussing a very upsetting subject. So physically, psychologically and emotionally, I'm not well. My heart is heavy and overly sensitive. My face is hard and rough due to tear stains. I feel and look extra bloated due to that extra serving of dimsum to keep me satisfied, and I'm really not in any mood for a friendly chit-chat. What I'd want now is to be in a faraway place, a place I've never been to and doing activities I wouldn't normally do.

Unfortunately, I'm still recovering from a bad morning and instead of packing my bags, going somewhere north, trying out different restaurants and go swimming in an isolated beach, I'm here in the heart of the metropolis, in a coffee shop I know too well and blogging. (I feel kind of better now at least)

My boyfriend, who is going to an 'exclusive' nude photoshoot, for which I cannot accompany him due to the "untold respect for Modeling contract', tried to appease me by leaving practically all his valuables behind. He's leaving his car, his macbook and his semi-precious bag with me to take wherever I please. I don't know if this is his humor to show his complete trust in me; in return that I'd give him my full trust. I think On second thought, I'm beginning to be overly analytic about things, but it would take time for these to hit me the moment I accidentally screw up the gears of his car. (Just kidding, that's a humor shot in case he's reading hehe). But I appreciate the concern and the display of trust anyways.

So, it's already 4 pm and the sun is still my reliable company. But it won't be here forever. I have to think of where to go just like a homeless nomadic person seeking out adventure in very unappealing circumstances. Why am I here in the first place? I think it's my fault to begin with. Better not delve with that and move on. Just like Kobe Bryant said, to just "Flush it out." I'd better stick through it and hope for the best, before the dark catches me and completely destroys my spirit.