Mitch informed me a while ago that we will be attending a mini-celebratory party hosted by his brother, Anton and his brother's girlfriend, Angela. This significant occasion is to celebrate Anton's success in the recent Nursing Board Exams; and Angela for passing the most recent Dentistry Exams. All hard work in studying really paid off. It was tough, but it's over and dealt with. Now, they are licensed professionals, out there performing their very best in their chosen fields.
It got me wondering how happy they must be, board passers and bar passers. My bestfriend and some of my friends just got their MD licenses late last year. Also, some of my closest batchmates and friends already passed the law bars. They all got their professional licenses, as well as the license to go happy crazy! They must be ecstatic, elated and morphed to a blissful insanity. They should be given space to scream and celebrate to the fullest. After all, while some of us are already earning and conquering the professional world, they're still there burning their eyebrows out, studying and still oblivious to the feel of normal 'adult' responsibilities. I would always say, Think LONG TERM.
Thinking about it, it's hard enough in college wherein I had to pass the grueling Advanced Algebra, Statistics or Econometrics. Passing those in itself deserved celebrations, but imagine me going through specialized subjects in medicine, accountancy, engineering and law? I can't imagine, seriously.
A lot of people ask me why I didn't take up Law, since my course is relatively familiar under that umbrella. Some people even managed to ask me why I didn't take up medicine. They thought I could be profitable in the realms of Psychiatry. A small group of people even mistakenly asked me why I didn't take CPA backed by Law. They must be joking, right?! And wonderfully, nobody asked me why I didn't take up Engineering. I think it was that obvious. I have specific answers to those and it's not that I wonder about it constantly. Everything has always been crystal clear to me.
I've shared this with Bags, a dear friend, when we were immersed in the topic of career and self actualization. I told her that I can be a lot of things. I am very open and capable to try out different things while I'm young, I cannot close the doors to whatever specialized profession I can conquer BUT I know which areas I will not tread on. It's like a person, knowing ever since gradeschool, what he'd really want to do when he grows up. They're the focused, boxed, raging trains that never thought of anything BUT "I wanna be a doctor when I grow up. I wanna be a lawyer just like my dad. I wanna be police." For me, it's kind of reverse. I still have large areas of interests to explore on BUT I am very definite of the areas I should be avoiding. "I want to be successful in anything I want to do, but I won't ever do this..this..this." It's crazy but I know what I shouldn't be doing. And it's not that I hate these professions. Do not get me wrong. I have high respects for them. I am even the best patient a doctor would ever hope for, it's just that...it's not my thing, and frankly, I'd perpetually, inevitably screw it up because it will never be my thing. And somehow I kind of knew that ever since I was a kid.
My parents, of course, wanted me to become a doctor. It's almost everyone's parents' dream come true. My mom is a frustrated doctor. She wanted to be, but at that time, commerce and accounting were imposed on her, so she had practically no choice. My dad, really didn't care much, but he'd just fancy me being a doctor. The thing is, I love doctors. I love watching ER, Dr. House. I have high respects and admiration for what they do, but I get a little bit squirmish with interactions. I love watching these medicine warriors work because of the pressure of moving around, always attentive with details, constantly treating people, but I'm not that good appreciating the interaction parts. I just want to get my clipboard, study the history, prescribe remedies and move on. Obviously, that's not how a doctor operates. If you're thinking about my aptitude, I am a-okay with Science. In fact i love science. I just hate the idea of tinkering with flesh and human life. I'm not made for that. I'm a wuss and degenerate in that department. If you're thinking about me, crying and gushing when I see flesh or blood, you're wrong. I can handle that...it's the touch, it's the tinkering, it's the responsibility for A LIFE, that I can't handle. I'm not really very sociable to begin with, and most definitely feel comfortable of the knowledge that I'm responsible for their lives...medically speaking. So, that's easily crossed out.
In terms of Commerce and Accounting, well that's a whole different gamut of obstacles. I have an attitude problem towards numbers. It's funny but ever since I was a kid, I'd been exposed to my mother's professional life. She was a CPA of this 5 star hotel and I'd always beg her to take me to her office, not to pester her in her desk and get fascinated with her ledgers and automatic calculators. I want to go to her office to have unlimited use of swimming pools and get a free ice cream at the caf. I never imagined myself sitting there the whole day, thinking of where the missing amount of money went, and get routinely stressed with money and expenses. CPA people are professionals put under intense work deadlines and stress, plus backed up by stress from other people. No Thanks, mom, but you being the CPA in the family is good enough.
Law. Most of my batchmates took law, I am in the remaining few who didn't. It would have been an easy path for me to take actually. I love research. I love papers. I love analysis. I love critical thinking, but I knew law wouldn't keep me happy. It's like medicine. I don't like the thought of people entrusting their lives in my hands, in this case...they're freedom or justice. There must be something wrong with me, but I just can't deal with that responsibility for others thing. I love urban development, researching people and developing their livelihood but law and medicine are two very different areas of the spectrum.
Engineering. Are you kidding me? Shall I discuss this more? I have an attitude problem with math. And people should be good with math here. I have a problem drawing things in my head. I actually can, but it stresses me out. Ideas and words I can master, but not 3d graphical stuff. Engineering involves good computation skills and skill of hands probably. I don't have both. That goes same for highly IT related stuff. Analysis I can handle, but I don't like the nitty gritty portion. Iacould remember one semester in college wherein we have to travel to the Engineering building to take up Algebra. You see, I never go to the Engineering building, it freaks me out. I know that the building would easily spew me. It can smell me under its quiet, burdensome hallways. I ranted for a couple of days, looking for an algebra class in our college building, but there was none. I had to suffice. But I did cut classes a lot of times there.
Those are fields I know I wouldn't do. I would get immensely stressed if it was imposed on me. I'll be hyperventilating 24/7. Early on, I knew my limits.
What I really want is to be is someone who works for UN or an NGO. Ship me to Angola or Yemen via parachute to study some communities there and help them create a better life. That's different from becoming a doctor entirely. There, I know I'm on a developing side and not the healing. I want project management. I want process improvement, community development, and I want to develop something not limited to the organization. I'm also pro-life no matter how I'm unskilled with interaction. Also Since my strength lies with literature and history, I can be an archaeologist someday, a relic hunter, a researcher and someone who works for National Geographic, TIME or Discovery Channel. I want features stories and educating people, not in a classroom type of way. I'm also keen to taking up forensic science, the science of the dead! I want to learn the Morse code and at the same time I want to do some autopsies. I'd also want to be a food critic, well that's more of a fantasy job, but I'm actually fulfilling it in a way already. Yes, that's me.
So for all of those who graduated and passed, I salute you for doing the things I cannot and would not do. You are the strong remaining few who indeed have the gift to withstand these pressures only limited and knowledgeable to your peers. We may never understand what you do, and we may be totally clueless with whatever it is that you're going through, but we know that it's no big joke. And I know someday I will forever need your services and in event entrust my welfare to you.
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