When Nitwits do Exist Vol 1.

I'm feeling like Xtin right now, a friend who is a master at repelling these nasty feelings against certain members of humanity by ranting about it (Her funny Blog here). It's a worse case if I rant because I'm typically the type of person who has a high tolerance for weird, eccentric and annoying behaviors. I get annoyed, irritated and devilish, most of the times, that's true. But I don't go as far as RANT about it the whole day and to be totally pissed to make a post about it. I just usually leave the scene of the crime. But this time, I'm going to rant.

It helps if you're familiar of the setting and a couple of salient information:

PLACE OF IRRITATION: Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Greenbelt. Specifically the outdoor section, facing Gbelt 3, at the corner, nearest to the electric outlet.

TIME OF IRRITATION: 10ish - 11ish, quiet, gloomy morning.

CULPRITS OF IRRITATION: 2 Mid-20's or (probably late 20's) sosyalera girls.

REASON FOR IRRITATION: Didn't get to see the face...too irritated already with their VOICE. (To be expounded on later)


THE OFFICIAL RANT:

Usually when I'm having my alone time, I tend to look like I'm observing people. In fact I really do, but sometimes I am too consumed with my own world that for I moment I become deaf. I already have a lot of thoughts ringing in my head that I only tend to observe visually. I'm not used to eavesdropping nor hearing mindless chats because I form my own chats in my head (no matter how psycho that sounds). That's why I don't really get to eavesdrop unless you really..really want me to.

I was enjoying my "alone time" in this cozy corner as I saw most of the tables and chairs devoid of humans. Just how I like it, the feeling of isolation. I was jotting down a few ideas as I saw people come and go, not particularly digesting them in full detail. For all I know it, the person who occupied the nearest table from me (since I was the nearest to the socket and she was fumbling with her mac) already left. I noticed that fact when two obviously "sosyal" (Overly sophisticated) girls approached my area and chose to sit at the table beside me, which trapped my right side since I was seated at the corner. So just imagine if I had an LBM (Lose bowel Movement) attack, I would have to aggressively order them to move or eventually drag one of them down for me to get through (Depends on the case). I didn't mind them, still. At this time...they haven't spoken yet.

You see, I really don't mind if a group of people talks in highfaluting choice of words. I get annoyed, but fine I allow people to show off. I don't even mind if people TRY HARD for the wrong reasons. I even easily forgive locals who are too westernized in this eastern country. I have so many reasons to thank for anyways. This country is blessed with knowledgeable people who can or can try to speak English to the best of their abilities. That is our edge anyways, might as well capitalize on it. With the rise of call centers and westernized cultures and intonations, you have to get used to the English sound waves may be it good, passable, "barok" or "hideous slang." But what I don't like are MEGAMOUTH people who might think they're talking to deaf people who live an island apart, in a place of WANTED silence that can never be an obstacle to encourage private and discreet tone of conversation. Add the fact that they use bad case of sosyalerang TAGLISH. The worst kind of Taglish that's always accompanied by words like: "Parang, it's like, eh, whatever, oh my god, TEH-GAHLog" said in a way that would make Jose Rizal, if alive, hurl. They converse in megamouth volumes, with tones that's patterned like Kim Kardashians or Paris Hilton's, with a very bad TAGLISH sentence construction, with topics that revolve either in boys, fashion and parties. Combine those and you have a perfect bomb to piss me off.

Sample conversations:

Girl 1: "So when how long will he, like, be gone?
Girl 2: "Like mga 4 months."
Girl 1: "It's not like gonna be tagal naman pala"
Girl 2: "I know, right? I don't even know like why I'm acting this way. Most of my officemates kinda make me puna na I'm like weird and affected."
Girl 1: "Pero you're going to fly to LA rin diba?"
Girl 2: "Yeah."
Girl 1: "LA lang or like with a side trip to Vegas or Sanfo?"
Girl 2: "With San fo. I'm going to meet his family there e."
Girl 1: "Oh my god.."
Girl 2: "I'm okay, with like families, but parang I like it better when he has like...brothers nalang. I'm not really good with girls e. I'm so mapili when it comes to girls."
Girl 1: "Oh yeah, Like I know how you feel. I'm such kind of bitchy with girls rin."
Girl 2: "Well not really like bitchy, pero parang like, I can talk to you but don't expect me to like be closey with you. I mean I could be like civil, parang okay lang tayo, but like you know."
Girl 1: "You're so right. I'm also like that e. I am girly, but I like relating with boys more."
Girl 2: "Yeah, parang like one of the boys!"
Girl 1: "Yeah, one of the boys e!"
Girl 1: "One of the boys, but not like tomboys or something."


Imagine a series of that, spoken in megamouth volume, with Paris-like shrieks, talking about boys, their fashion and other people (probably who talk like that as well), LIKE it's their mantra. If you're going to talk so loud for most people to hear, try to use sentences that are less painful to decipher. Tell it in either Tagalog or straight English. Speak in TAGLISH if you may, but not the Paris-Hilton taglish because it's just so annoying to hear. It just elevates you to the SOSYALERANG-TRYING -HARD-TO-BE-MASA-NA-PRETTY-POPULAR-KOLEHIYALA- TYPE. Geez,look what you made me do? Is that even a valid type?

I wasn't able to resume my activities and realized that crumpling paper is therapeutic. I got out my camera and started to take pictures of my table, hoping to steal a picture of those two nitwits, but the other girl kept starting at me as if I'm a spawn that gone mad. "Oh I'm so sorry for bothering you when I perfectly know you're not good with girls..especially irritated ones." I sarcastically said this to myself as I returned the stare. Just in time, my brother called to fetch me up, before I sizzled with delight. I fixed my things, grabbed my laptop bag and looked at the girl who blocked my way. She immediately moved her seat and tried to clear the other chair on her side. Well, she might be a nitwit, but good thing she still has an ounce of consideration in her veins, considering that I'm a girl and considering she fell silent, a little too late.