Yesterday didn't turn out as planned. I kind of accepted it when I noticed I got too jolly for my own sake. The expectation, simple or not, turned into something I haven't hoped for. Yes, I was inconvenienced. I was pissed and certainly I was not in a happy mood. It wasn't my fault either that's why I'm extra pissed.
Let it go. Let it go. Glitches happen that you cannot control. That's why there's such as thing as PLAN B.
So, I just forced to enjoy my afternoon with Kite Runner while ocassionally fiddling with my laptop. I also decided to try out a different drink at Coffee Bean for a change. Since yesterday couldn't get any worse, I tried their Ice Blended Sunrise (Orange Juice and Vanilla). Risky, but fairly a good choice. Good thing for the drink, I was simply calmed. Now whoever would've bumped into me could've possibly received a smile or a hello. I wasn't that grumpy anymore. Still...still...
Out of desperation, I called my dad to meet me in Makati. Luck made him dropped by Landmark to pick up a few things for the new house. At least there's something that worked out fine. So I packed my things and went there to meet him up. Weirdness set in as I saw him instructing a hapless designer in the Fake Flower Arrangement section. He beckoned me and asked me if his little "arts" project is cool for his bathroom. It looked okay to me, but I reminded him that I'm not like my sister who is a creative-design expert. My taste is harder to accept. Although I did appreciate the Flower arrangement class we had at High school.
While my dad was busy, I wandered around and found myself at the Christmas Tree section. It just dawned on me how close Christmas is. Freak. Another one of those happy get togethers, food indulgence, christmas decoration, spending etc. I was mesmerized by the differently adorned trees of varying motifs. How fake they are, yet they are so nice to look at. One of the ironies of the world.
I was oggling with one tree when my dad insisted I should pick one. I declined and told him to let my sister do the picking instead. He mentioned that it will be the first Christmas we will have in our new house so everything should be special, everything should be at least right and a weird taste in Christmas trees is not a way to go. This is when I kind of felt sad. I've spent Christmas or at least spent grand holidays at our old house for almost 20 years. It would be so hard to see the new house lit and decorated while the old house (situated in the same street), would just be lifeless and eerie. It just even saddens up my mood.
Going home, I'm thinking how weird of me to be sentimental about it. I've never seen myself sentimental. I don't do activities that depict that. I throw away what's not wanted or needed anymore. But a house is a different thing. I have rich memories in that old house. It knows my deepest secret and I honestly thought that I would grow old in that house, but now we're about to move out. The walls would never be the same and the familiarity of the spaces would never be the same.
At some point, as much as I hate having my plans altered or delayed, there are things exempted from the rule. It just means prolonged stay at our old one. But I know in a matter of days or a couple of weeks, we'll soon leave and it just saddens me. The bad part is, I would always see it for the rest of my life, a reminder that a structure is still there holding our secrets. No matter, I'm sure I'll find ways to compromise and properly say goodbye. For this Christmas at least, I vow to spend it in two houses before someone takes over the old one. Or maybe I should take the lotto and hope to win the jackpot. In that way I won't be feeling sentimental about anything anymore.
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