Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sex Education 101

I read a feature article in Manilatimes this morning regarding sex education. It says that that sex education should start at home. It was written so honestly that it makes me want to snicker in affirmation to the point that I want to share my insights about it.

Truth is, at least in this country, SEX education is MINIMALLY discussed at school and NEVER discussed at home. In my case, the first sex education for me was in grade school just before I stepped into the chaotic world of high school. It took its cue from our subject Science and Health while discussing the different types of reproductive organs. Images and discussion weren’t really explicit, but behind those snickers in the classroom, we already knew how the “shebang” works, with special thanks to the “ST” era I grew up in where making pito-pito and scintillating movies gained popularity. But no one in our school bothered to get into the details on how to avoid unwanted pregnancy or Sexually transmitted diseases. We just knew premarital and promiscuous sexual activities are bad. We knew it could make people sick or pregnant. We knew it wasn’t supported by our catholic school done outside of marriage. We knew it was something specially done secretly between lovers. That was about it.

In high school I was transferred by my parents to an all-girls Catholic school, not only to strengthen my academic exposure, but also as a preventive measure to lock my thoughts about boys. Little did they know that with the books and art films I’m exposed to, I’m almost self-educated. They also must have overlooked the possibility that their daughters in an all girls’ institution, without any guidance about sex education and opposite sex interaction, may make them increasingly wild and curious once they step out of the blanket. Some girls, even before our high school graduation or just several months after, had already slipped to the very thing society tries to avoid.

At home, there’s no need to clarify since we didn’t get to discuss anything. My parents never ever ushered any discussion about “sex.” Until now, it’s a taboo but I can remember how more inquisitive and fidgety they became when they found out we (sister and I) have “boy friends.” Sex education in our home is limited to precautionary glances, awkward silence while watching a talk show with a topic of sex, and occasional threats of disownment if we go out and do something nasty. What was that specific “nasty act” I have no idea, but they already assumed we know what falls under that category. So, practically sex education at home is just a random series of threats.

However the article boldly suggests that parents should be at the helm of sex education. I agree in the article that parents have the utmost responsibility. Don’t get me wrong. It’s easier said that done. I might as well shoot myself now because I don’t think I’d be able to last it myself because it’s too damn awkward and threatening. Just imagining how my parents would do it would either leave me barfing or catatonic. But still I agree that parents are the optimum guardian to these kinds of things. They shouldn’t allow their children to undergo self-study on a very sensitive matter nor rely on friends to do their part. Parents were once kids too and they know, from their perspective, how anxious and curious teens could be. They, in every biological and relative sense of the world, are the closest link to their children. They should try to give it a shot.

However, giving it a shot is not always enough in guiding their kids about sex. According to the article, parents should be well informed, detailed and open-minded about it. Parents shouldn’t just rely on experience and religion. They would often end up in gray areas confusing the teens more. Parents should be attuned to the facts and the behavior of these times brought by media, accessibility of information and modernity that they should encourage their kids to make a choice and present options like birth control methods and abstinence. Telling teens that it’s plainly bad and condemned by the church would never be enough. Forbidding teens with something that is not thoroughly explained will often heighten curiosity. What parents can combat aside from religion are FACTS and the presenting the RIGHT Choices.

Also, parents should know the best approach to discuss sex. They cannot result with threats and infinite comparison of their time to ours. Threats and censorship would lead to more curiosity and dishonesty. Also, Comparison of their time to ours would just be irrelevant. The challenges and society at their time when as teenagers were very different compared to ours. Now, things are more global, liberal and accessible compared to before. Instead of censorship, they should expose kids to good materials about sex, and instead of threats, they should be encouraging and advisory. It’s damn difficult, but very possible.

I wonder. If my turn comes to educate about sex, I would most probably rely on FACTS. Estimated, calculated and investment facts of a rearing a child. Just like what I’ve read in NU Investor. Not only will they melt on the estimated cost of child care, hospital care, education costs and miscellaneous all the way to college, but they would have to allot resources for that based on their expected minimum salary minus the cost of their daily and lifestyle expenses whether it may be on their gadgets, phone bills and whatever futuristic expenses that I’m sure they would incur. I was blown away with how much money I would be spending for a child, coupled with my investment opportunities and my lifestyle. It is damn scary because it's FREAKING REAL. With that, I’m sure they would be able to either abstain from sex or use precautions. Not to mention the added costs of health treatment if they catch STDs. I would present to them facts, glaring facts that would make them reflect just before they engage in unsafe sex. And contrary to popular belief, children are not form of investments. Whether our culture is ready for it or not, Sex Education is as important as any medical, technical or financial education present; and best taught with care and utmost consideration.

Here is the NU Investor Article worthy of looking at.
http://www.nuwireinvestor.com/articles/cost-of-raising-a-child-the-ultimate-investment-51618.aspx

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