Issues on the Internet and December 1st

Our internet line's been cut off even though we are good subscribers paying monthly dues on time. My mother confirmed the malfunction and my dad, going home from his golf exercise, snapped at the customer service waving his bank deposit statement as if the person on the other line could see. It doesn't help that my brother has a research assignment to be done through the internet and I am itching to surf and post stuff on the net. As much as my mother would allow or even I would maximize, we cannot depend on Mitch's internet connection forever. I would inevitably drive him nuts like I almost did last night. Besides, I have tons of files to unload and post, I cannot do it efficiently if I have to get my fingers familiar to new keyboards and commands. There are just no time and effort. In short, it's complicated. The important thing is we called our internet provider, whopped their ass, and just wait for our connection to be put up within the day or latest is tomorrow. Our parents should understand how my brother and I depend so much on the net.

So after getting things settled, my sister and cousin went to the kitchen to have breakfast while playing with Harvey. I quickly took my sister's full-tanked economical car and drove myself to Makati. As much as I pictured myself in bed, reading and flipping dvds, I am itching to do something productive and surf the net for free. So I'm currently here at the office, maximizing internet while answering a couple of emails, feeling pathetic as today is in fact a Holiday.

Although, once my stuff is already done (in about a few minutes), I have the whole day all to myself. I could either go to the mall and watch a movie, eat out, go to my favorite coffee shops and bum around. I figured I could also rely on getting DVD titles at the reliable DVD Depot at MCS so I could take home and share the cinematic joy with my siblings. There are tons of opportunities. The weather is in fact cooperating with its gloomy disposition. I like the mobility, independence and warranted spontaneity of it all.

However, I'm not quite yapping with joy just because it's December 1st. There is something about this month that holds a lot of repressed fear and uncertainty despite the joyous occasion around the corner. It's masked and it's eerie. After so many things that happened, December 1st starts a countdown to flip the calendar and move on to a fresh year. Fresh to make mistakes and in a way redeem ourselves from past mistakes. January 1st puts down the ax, but December 1st brings on the agony. Most probably I'm the only one insane to feel this because I am just a cynic, but there's no harm in expressing raw emotions here. But four weeks of intense Christmas carols, lights and dinners could never replace the Christmas I had when I was a kid. It fails in comparison. December 1st just doesn't feel right. There is faulty connection.